08/28/2026
Post shared from Oneta M Carter
Everything You Need Before Owning a Parrot
A long, funny—and surprisingly honest—list
1. A properly sized cage.
Not a decorative cage that matches your curtains. Your parrot needs enough room to stretch, climb, flap, play, and move without bumping into toys, dishes, or cage bars.
2. A second cage or safe sleep area.
Some parrots sleep better in a quiet room away from household activity. You may also need a separate cage during illness, emergencies, travel, or home repairs.
3. A secure travel carrier.
You’ll need it for veterinary appointments, evacuations, and those exciting moments when your parrot decides to become ill at 10:47 on a Sunday night.
4. An avian veterinarian.
Find one before you need one. “My regular veterinarian occasionally sees birds” is not always the same as having an experienced avian veterinarian.
5. An emergency veterinary fund.
Parrots rarely consult your bank balance before becoming sick. Start saving now, because the bird that cost several hundred dollars may eventually require several thousand dollars in veterinary care.
6. A yearly wellness examination.
Parrots are masters at hiding illness. By the time they look obviously sick, they may have been unwell for quite some time.
7. A gram scale.
Weigh your parrot regularly and keep a written record. A change in weight can be one of the earliest warnings that something isn’t right.
8. A quality pellet-based diet.
A bowl filled with sunflower seeds is not a balanced diet. It is the parrot equivalent of handing a child a sack of potato chips and calling it supper.
9. Fresh vegetables.
Your refrigerator may soon contain more leafy greens, peppers, carrots, squash, broccoli, and sweet potatoes for the bird than it does food for you.
10. Fresh fruit in appropriate portions.
Fruit can be a healthy part of the diet, but it should not replace vegetables and balanced nutrition simply because your parrot thinks blueberries are a constitutional right.
11. Safe nuts and seeds in moderation.
These can be wonderful rewards and training treats. They are not an unlimited buffet just because your parrot has learned to glare at you.
12. Separate food and water dishes.
Preferably stainless steel and easy to sanitize. You will wash them repeatedly because parrots enjoy turning fresh water into a mysterious soup.
13. A good vegetable brush and safe food-preparation routine.
Fresh produce must be cleaned carefully. Your parrot may reject half of it, but at least it will be properly washed before being flung onto the wall.
14. Fresh water every day—and often more than once a day.
Your parrot will bathe in it, dip pellets in it, drop toys in it, and occasionally stare at the resulting swamp as if you created it.
15. Natural wood perches in several sizes.
Feet need variety. One smooth dowel perch running across the cage is not enough.
16. A comfortable resting perch.
Every parrot needs a secure place to relax and sleep. Older or disabled birds may require platforms or specially positioned perches.
17. Safe chewing toys.
Parrots need to chew. If you do not provide appropriate toys, they will select their own—usually your furniture, doorframes, cabinets, baseboards, books, and anything you paid too much for.
18. Foraging toys.
A food bowl is not enrichment. Parrots are designed to search, manipulate, explore, and work for food—not sit beside a bowl waiting for room service.
19. Shredding materials.
Cardboard, sola, palm, untreated paper, and other bird-safe materials can satisfy the need to destroy things. Destruction is not a character flaw in a parrot; it is practically a career.
20. Toy-rotation storage.
You will eventually need bins, baskets, shelves, or possibly a separate room for the toys your parrot loved yesterday and considers deeply offensive today.
21. Replacement toys.
When a parrot destroys a toy, that often means the toy did its job. Congratulations—you paid good money for something designed to become confetti.
22. A play stand.
Your parrot needs a safe place outside the cage. Otherwise, the top of your television, curtain rod, or kitchen cabinet may be claimed as sovereign parrot territory.
23. Several hours of daily interaction.
Parrots are not decorations. They need companionship, training, enrichment, exercise, and meaningful participation in family life.
24. Independent-play skills.
Your parrot should learn how to entertain herself safely. A bird who depends on constant attention may struggle whenever you need to cook, work, shower, or simply exist in another room.
25. Positive-reinforcement training.
Teach stepping up, stepping down, stationing, targeting, entering a carrier, and accepting basic care. Training is communication, not domination.
26. A sense of humor about being ignored.
Your parrot may beg for your attention, climb onto your hand, stare lovingly into your eyes—and then walk directly past you to chew the remote.
27. Patience.
Not ordinary patience. You need the kind of patience normally reserved for saints, preschool teachers, and customer-service representatives during the holidays.
28. More patience.
Whatever amount you thought was enough, double it.
29. Bandages.
Even sweet parrots can bite when frightened, overstimulated, hormonal, territorial, or misunderstood. Learn body language and safe handling instead of assuming love makes beaks harmless.
30. The emotional strength not to take a bite personally.
Your parrot can adore you and still pinch you five minutes later because you wore the wrong hat.
31. Tolerance for noise.
Parrots vocalize. Some chatter, whistle, sing, beep, mumble, bark, imitate alarms, and scream loudly enough to make your neighbors question their life choices.
32. Acceptance that silence may be suspicious.
A quiet parrot is either sleeping, eating, frightened, or dismantling something important.
33. A powerful vacuum cleaner.
Buy the best one you can afford. You are not purchasing an appliance—you are hiring a member of your bird-care team.
34. A handheld vacuum.
Because dragging out the large vacuum seventeen times a day will eventually test your commitment to civilized living.
35. A broom and dustpan.
Keep them nearby. Actually, buy several sets and place one in every room your parrot visits.
36. A mop.
Parrots can launch wet food astonishing distances. Physicists should study them.
37. Paper towels—and plenty of them.
If you think you have enough, buy another case.
38. Washable wall paint.
Blueberries, sweet potatoes, cherries, and pomegranates can transform a peaceful dining area into an abstract art exhibit.
39. Cage liners.
Plain paper makes it easier to monitor droppings. You will soon become a person who examines parrot p**p before breakfast and discusses it without embarrassment.
40. An air purifier.
Good air quality matters, especially with powder-producing species. Choose a bird-safe unit, maintain it properly, and keep any ionizing feature turned off.
41. Safe cookware.
Products containing PTFE and similar overheated nonstick coatings can release fumes that are deadly to birds. Examine cookware, appliances, liners, and heating products carefully.
42. A smoke-free, fragrance-free home.
No smoking, va**ng, scented candles, wax melts, aerosol sprays, plug-in fragrances, essential-oil diffusers, or heavily perfumed cleaning products around parrots.
43. Bird-safe cleaning supplies.
The room does not have to smell like a chemical factory to be clean.
44. A safe heating plan.
Investigate heaters carefully before using them. Some contain coatings or components that may produce dangerous fumes when heated.
45. Good ventilation without drafts.
Fresh air is important, but your parrot should not sit directly beneath an air conditioner, vent, or cold draft.
46. Safe access to natural light.
Sunlight through an open, securely screened window or in a protected outdoor enclosure can be beneficial. Glass filters much of the useful UVB, and no bird should ever be left outside unattended.
47. A bathing or misting routine.
Some parrots love water. Others behave as though you have betrayed the family bloodline by offering a gentle mist.
48. At least ten to twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep.
A chronically tired parrot can become irritable, hormonal, and unhealthy. Honestly, the same is true for the person caring for the parrot.
49. A consistent daily routine.
Parrots often feel safer when meals, sleep, training, and social time are reasonably predictable.
50. A bird-proofed room.
Cover unsafe wires, secure windows and doors, remove toxic plants, close toilets, turn off ceiling fans, and block access to small spaces.
51. A household door policy.
Everyone must know where the bird is before opening an outside door. “I didn’t see her” is not an acceptable safety plan.
52. Window and mirror awareness.
A flighted bird may not understand clear glass or reflective surfaces. Introduce rooms carefully and make dangerous surfaces visible.
53. No ceiling fans while the bird is loose.
Not “on low.” Not “just for a minute.” Off means off.
54. A safe kitchen rule.
Parrots should not be flying around hot pans, boiling water, open flames, sharp knives, or sizzling food.
55. A quarantine area for any new bird.
A new arrival should be kept separately and examined and tested under the guidance of an avian veterinarian before joining the flock.
56. An emergency evacuation plan.
Keep carriers, pillowcases, identification, medical information, food, water, and essential supplies where you can reach them quickly.
57. A backup caregiver.
Find someone trustworthy who understands parrots and is willing to help during illness, hospitalization, travel, or emergencies.
58. Written care instructions.
Do not leave a note saying, “Give the bird food and water.” Include portions, routines, safety warnings, veterinary contacts, medications, and what behaviors are normal.
59. A plan for power outages.
Consider temperature control, lighting, refrigeration for medications or food, and safe backup heat.
60. A plan for severe weather.
Hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, wildfires, winter storms, and power failures do not wait while you search for the carrier hidden in the garage.
61. Identification records.
Keep current photographs, band or microchip information, veterinary records, and proof of ownership.
62. Time to learn body language.
Raised feathers, pinned eyes, posture, tail movement, beak position, and foot placement all communicate something. Your parrot speaks constantly, even without words.
63. Respect for boundaries.
A parrot is not a stuffed animal. She should be allowed to move away, decline interaction, and feel safe without being chased by hands.
64. Rules against forced cuddling.
Many parrots enjoy affection, but touching the back, wings, or lower body can encourage hormonal behavior. Keep most petting around the head and neck unless medically necessary.
65. A hormone-management plan.
Long daylight hours, dark nesting spaces, excessive body touching, rich foods, and certain toys can encourage reproductive behavior.
66. The strength to remove that “cute little tent.”
Dark fabric huts can create hormonal nesting behavior and may pose chewing or entanglement risks.
67. Good sleep for yourself.
This is mostly theoretical, particularly if your parrot learns to imitate the smoke alarm at dawn.
68. The ability to repeat yourself.
“Step up.”
“Please step up.”
“We are not eating the chair.”
“Please stop eating the chair.”
“That chair belonged to your grandmother.”
69. The ability to be outsmarted gracefully.
Parrots can solve puzzles, open latches, manipulate people, and train an entire household before anyone realizes what happened.
70. Childproof locks.
Then better locks, because your parrot may consider ordinary childproof locks beginner-level puzzles.
71. A willingness to share.
Your parrot will want whatever you are eating, even when an identical serving is already in her bowl.
72. The courage to eat while being watched.
Parrots can stare at a sandwich with the intensity of a detective questioning a suspect.
73. A replacement remote control.
Go ahead and buy it now.
74. Replacement phone chargers.
Buy those now, too.
75. Furniture you are not emotionally attached to.
If you love it deeply, cover it, protect it, or place it somewhere the parrot cannot reach.
76. Clothes with tiny holes in them.
You may not need these at first, but your parrot will make them for you.
77. A designated “bird shirt.”
This is the shirt with holes, stains, and one missing button. It will become the most honest piece of clothing you own.
78. Acceptance that your hair may become a playground.
Hair clips, earrings, buttons, glasses, and necklaces may all be investigated.
79. A secure place for jewelry.
Your parrot does not understand that the shiny stone in your earring cost money. She only understands that it might come loose if she works hard enough.
80. A sense of humor about language.
Your parrot may ignore every beautiful phrase you teach and perfectly repeat the one thing you muttered when you dropped a bowl.
81. Careful television choices.
A parrot can memorize commercials, phone ringtones, doorbells, laughter, coughing, crying babies, and arguments.
82. The ability to answer imaginary noises.
You will check the microwave, front door, smoke alarm, telephone, and barking dog—only to discover the sound came from a grey parrot looking deeply pleased with herself.
83. A willingness to become household staff.
You will prepare meals, provide entertainment, clean the suite, manage the schedule, arrange transportation, and receive complaints about the service.
84. An understanding family.
Everyone in the home must agree to safety rules, noise expectations, cleaning responsibilities, and respectful handling.
85. Understanding neighbors.
This becomes especially important if you own a cockatoo, macaw, Amazon, or any parrot who believes sunrise requires a public announcement.
86. A landlord who permits birds.
Get permission in writing. “The lease didn’t specifically mention a Moluccan cockatoo” may not save you later.
87. A realistic housing plan.
Large parrots can make renting difficult. Consider where you may live years from now—not only where you live today.
88. A long-term financial plan.
Food, toys, veterinary care, cages, carriers, air purifiers, cleaning supplies, repairs, and boarding expenses add up.
89. A lifetime commitment.
Depending on the species, a parrot may live for decades. This bird may be with you through marriages, divorces, moves, illnesses, career changes, and several vacuum cleaners.
90. An estate plan for the bird.
Larger parrots may outlive their owners. Decide who will care for the bird, discuss it with that person, put it in writing, and provide financial support if possible.
91. Honesty about your future.
Will you still have time, money, housing, patience, and support ten, twenty, or forty years from now?
92. Understanding that rescue is not a retirement plan.
Sanctuaries and rescues are already overwhelmed. Every owner should prepare for the bird’s entire life.
93. Compassion for a rehomed parrot.
A bird with a difficult past is not “bad.” She may be frightened, confused, grieving, or responding to years of inconsistent care.
94. Patience during adjustment.
Trust cannot be demanded on your preferred schedule. Some parrots settle in quickly; others need months or longer.
95. Permission for the parrot to choose.
The bird may prefer your spouse, child, neighbor, plumber, or the person who insisted they didn’t want a bird.
96. The ability to love without controlling.
Parrots are not domesticated in the same way as dogs. Their instincts remain strong, and respectful companionship matters more than forced obedience.
97. A willingness to keep learning.
Nutrition, medicine, behavior, husbandry, and safety guidance continue to evolve. Good parrot care requires curiosity and humility.
98. The courage to admit when something isn’t working.
Ask for professional help before a small behavior or medical concern becomes a crisis.
99. A support system.
Experienced parrot caregivers can be invaluable—but always verify medical and nutritional claims with qualified professionals.
100. A healthy suspicion of internet advice.
If someone says, “I’ve done it for thirty years and none of my birds died,” that does not automatically make the practice safe.
101. The ability to say no.
No, you may not eat the electrical cord.
No, you may not live inside the kitchen cabinet.
No, screaming does not make supper arrive faster.
No, the veterinarian’s pen is not yours.
102. The ability to lose negotiations anyway.
The parrot heard your “no,” considered it carefully, and has filed an appeal.
103. A forgiving heart.
Your parrot may destroy something precious, bite when frightened, refuse an expensive toy, and throw carefully prepared vegetables onto the floor.
104. A strong heart.
Parrots can suffer when their needs are misunderstood. Caring well means making difficult decisions, changing old habits, and placing the bird’s welfare ahead of convenience.
105. A soft heart.
Under all that noise, mess, attitude, and destruction is a deeply intelligent creature capable of trust, attachment, humor, grief, curiosity, and remarkable affection.
106. And finally, a little bit of foolishness.
Because only someone slightly foolish would spend twenty minutes preparing a colorful, nutritious breakfast for a parrot—then stand there proudly while the bird throws every piece onto the floor and eats the corner of the paper liner.
Owning a parrot is not always easy. Your house may be noisy, your floors may never remain clean for more than seven minutes, and you may find yourself apologizing to a bird for cutting a banana incorrectly.
But if you are prepared for the commitment, willing to keep learning, and ready to respect the magnificent little dinosaur behind those beautiful feathers, life with a parrot can be extraordinary.
You will laugh harder, clean more often, worry more deeply, spend more money, and love a creature whose personality is far bigger than her body.
Just remember: you may believe you own the parrot—but the parrot, the dogs, your neighbors, and everyone who has ever visited your home already know the truth.
The parrot owns you.
© Oneta Carter – The Parrot Guru
