25/06/2026
Where in your relationship with your horse are you responding to what is actually happening, and where might you be responding to an old story? This was one of the hardest lessons Vesper ever taught me. When she injured herself and our Olympic path ended, I thought the depth of my guilt proved the depth of my love for her. I replayed everything, questioned everything and searched for the moment where I could have prevented something I had no control over. For a long time, I thought I was grieving for her, but years later I realised I was also grieving through her.
Vesper had healed. She was comfortable and had adapted to her new life because she wasn’t carrying the same story I was carrying. She wasn’t waking up thinking she had lost an Olympic dream or that her value had changed. That was my human interpretation. She had moved forward, and I hadn’t. That was a humbling thing to realise because I had always believed my empathy made me a better horsewoman. But empathy without awareness can quietly become projection, and sometimes we think we are listening to our horses when we are actually listening to the wounds, fears and stories we carry within ourselves.
Our horses can be our greatest teachers. They can create spaces where we feel safe enough to heal, grow and become more aware of ourselves, but they cannot do that healing for us. That responsibility belongs to us. True partnership begins when we allow our horses to be horses, not extensions of our pain, our identity or our need to prove something. Sometimes loving our horses means having the humility to ask: “Am I seeing my horse clearly, or am I seeing my own pain reflected back at me?”
🎧 Closing the Loop Episode 3: Your Horse Is Not Your Therapist
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