Kifayah Maine Coons Australia

Kifayah Maine Coons Australia Located in Melbourne.Registered breeder .Our breeding cats are Imported from IT,PL,NZ &GE with lines from BE/RU/HU.

Primary focus of our breeding program is health/type &Temperment-DNA/Heart scan-HCM/HIP scores-N/N ,Fiv/felv-N/N

🚨 “CAN I COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND LOOK AT ALL YOUR CATS? I WANT TO PICK THE ONE THAT COMES TO ME WHEN I GO PST PST PST PST...
05/09/2026

🚨 “CAN I COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND LOOK AT ALL YOUR CATS? I WANT TO PICK THE ONE THAT COMES TO ME WHEN I GO PST PST PST PSTTT.” 🚨

PST. PST. PST. PSTTTTT?! 💀💀💀💀
Like… SERIOUSLY?! 😭

WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?!

THE P***Y HUNGER GAMES?! 💀🤣

You wanna stand in the middle of MY HOME like: “PSSST… PSSST… PSSSSST… PSSSSSTTTTT…”
and expect Maine C***s to come GALLOPING THROUGH THE HOUSE IN SLOW MOTION while inspirational music plays?!
Then one majestic mother-fluffer emerges from the smoke…
Walks directly towards you…
Places one paw gently on your leg…
🥹 “OMG… I KNEW IT. HE CHOSE ME.”

NO, GANDALF. 😭✋🏽💀

He heard a fu***ng gas leak and came to investigate 🤣🤣🤣

This is a CLOSED CATTERY.

We have very active social media. Available kittens are posted. You see one you love? Fantastic. ❤️

We organise a video call, you e-meet the kitten, we have a chat and proceed with the application from there.

What we DON'T do is:
✨ PSSST PSSST PSSST YOUR WAY INTO MY FU***NG HOUSE™ ✨

There are no general admission tickets.
No guided p***y safari.
No petting zoo.
No spiritual “WHICH P***Y FEELS MY ENERGY?” 🤦‍♀️💀
And there are DEFINITELY no:
PST PST PST PSTTTTT AUDITIONS🤦‍♀️

Also…

Have you actually MET a Maine C**n?!
You could stand there for hours going
“pst pst pst…”
And they'll stare directly into your soul like:👁️👄👁️
“Who the f**k is this di****ad and why is he deflating?” 💀

So yeah brother....
Thank you for expressing your interest in wanting to visit the KIFAYAH P***Y KINGDOM™.

Unfortunately, we are NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC... please exit through the imaginary gift shop…

You are welcome 🤦‍♀️💀

😂😭 JUST BEING CHEEKY…Kifayah Zephyr Veyron out here like:"Paint me like one of your French girls.” 💀😂SIR.You are a BABY....
04/09/2026

😂😭 JUST BEING CHEEKY…

Kifayah Zephyr Veyron out here like:
"Paint me like one of your French girls.” 💀😂

SIR.
You are a BABY. 😭✋🏽

Why are you laying there with the belly out, toe beans exposed, one paw in the air like you’ve just finished a 12-hour shift and are waiting for room service?! 😂

Zephyr, please put your pants back on😭💀😂

Just a tiny fluffy menace being cheeky and ridiculously scrumptious. 🥹



🚨 “I WON’T BUY A KITTEN FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MUSLIM.” 🚨OH NOOOOOOOOO. 😭💀NOOOOO. PLEASE.WHAT WILL I DO NOW?! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣BRO...
04/09/2026

🚨 “I WON’T BUY A KITTEN FROM YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE MUSLIM.” 🚨

OH NOOOOOOOOO. 😭💀NOOOOO. PLEASE.
WHAT WILL I DO NOW?! 🤦🏽‍♀️🤣

BRO…

WTF DOES MY RELIGION HAVE TO DO WITH MY P***Y?! 😭✋🏽

Like seriously… COME ON NOW💀

My cats don’t eat halal.
They don’t wear hijab.
They don't even do ONE of the five mandatory prayers. 😭
They don’t fast during Ramadan — these greedy f***ers can barely make it TWO MINUTES PAST DINNER. 💀🤣

And TRUST ME…

I will NOT be asking you to take Shahada before kitten collection😭✋🏽🤣
No imam waiting at the door.
No surprise conversion ceremony
Just grab your carrier and your fluffy p***y and GO💀🤣

……although……👁️👄👁️....WAIT.

Isn’t selling p***y haram in Islam?
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
OKAY. NOW I UNDERSTAND THE CONCERN😭💀🤣🙈

Astaghfirullah.

All this time I thought I was running a registered Maine C**n breeding program…
Apparently I’ve been running a HARAM P***Y DISTRIBUTION CENTRE. 😭✋🏽💀

Anyway…

Sorry you missed out on my Smokey P***y🤦🏽‍♀️🫦🙈

Your loss, fam…

She’s fu***ng magnificent😂🖕💀🖤

🚨 ANOTHER POST TO P**S OFF SOMEONE’S FRAGILE FEELINGS 🚨😭✋🏽📩 “HOW MUCH?”📩 “ANY AVAILABLE KITTENS?”That’s it...That’s the ...
03/09/2026

🚨 ANOTHER POST TO P**S OFF SOMEONE’S FRAGILE FEELINGS 🚨😭✋🏽

📩 “HOW MUCH?”
📩 “ANY AVAILABLE KITTENS?”

That’s it...That’s the whole fu***ng message. 💀

BRO…

AT LEAST USE A VERB?? MAYBE A NOUN?? 😭
Give me a sentence. A greeting. A crumb of grammar. SOMETHING....

I put more effort into ordering a shawarma.

Meanwhile you’re trying to acquire a living, breathing, potentially 15+ year family member like:
“HOW MUCH. ANY AVAILABLE.”
👁️👄👁️
SIR… this is not Facebook Marketplace.

YOU’RE NOT BUYING A SECOND-HAND AIR FRYER 💀

No hello.
No name.
No introduction.

Just:
“HOW MUCH????”

Brother, I’m not asking you to SEDUCE ME. 😭✋🏽
I don’t need flowers and dinner.

But f**k… INTRODUCE YOURSELF😂
Tell me your name.
Tell me a little about yourself.
Tell me about your home.
Tell me why you’d like one of my babies.

Because apparently Kifayah Asraiel Azul has reviewed your application from Pride Rock and said:

👑 “Mother… leave them on read.”

SAY LESS, KING. 💀😂

And BEFORE anyone starts their s**t in my inbox 🤦‍♀️💀
YES, THE BACKGROUND IS AI GENERATED BY AZRA’S FAMILY. 😒😂
THE CAT IS REAL THOUGH.
I didn’t AI-generate the fu***ng Maine C**n and release him into the Serengeti. 🤦🏽‍♀️💀😭

03/09/2026

🚨 IF MY POSTS ARE CAUSING YOU EMOTIONAL HARM… UNFOLLOW ME😭✋🏽

There. Crisis resolved. 😂

Protect your peace. Drink some water. Go enjoy your day.

My posts are not intended to cause emotional harm — they’re satire, banter and me having a laugh at the absolutely unhinged messages YOU LOT CHOOSE TO SEND ME ON A DAILY BASIS💀

So please don’t slide into my inbox telling me I’m “ruthless,” “harmful” or “mean” for addressing the messages that somehow found their way into MY inbox in the first place😭

I didn’t summon them.
YOU SENT THEM.
I simply added seasoning🤌🏽💀

And trust me when I say…

I HAVE STARTED OFF QUITE TAME. 😂

This is for play.
Nobody is being named.
Nobody is being publicly shamed.
We are having a LAUGH.

If you have a sense of humour — stay♥️

If you feel attacked because a post sounds suspiciously familiar…

well…

I said what I said😭✋🏽
And respectfully, the unfollow button is free.

Now let me get back to my nonsense because apparently, THE CONTENT KEEPS SUBMITTING ITSELF 💀😒🤣

🚨 “BUT YOU HEALTH TEST YOUR CATS… SO THE KITTENS SHOULDN’T HAVE HEALTH ISSUES, RIGHT?”BRO… 🤦🏽‍♀️I HEALTH TEST THE PARENT...
02/09/2026

🚨 “BUT YOU HEALTH TEST YOUR CATS… SO THE KITTENS SHOULDN’T HAVE HEALTH ISSUES, RIGHT?”

BRO… 🤦🏽‍♀️

I HEALTH TEST THE PARENTS.
I DO NOT PERSONALLY ASSEMBLE THE KITTENS IN THE WOMB....😭💀

My breeding cats are
DNA tested.
HCM scanned.
Hips scored.
And STILL… A kitten that's moved out three years ago to your postcode.... his hips can wake up like: “Structural integrity? Never heard of her.”
✨ HELLO HIP DYSPLASIA ✨

Then one innocent Tuesday:
👁️ “You bored?”
👁️ “Yeah.”
👁️ “Wanna fold inwards?”
👁️ “BITCH, WE GOING IN.”
✨ HELLO ENTROPION ✨ 😭💀

Then something so RANDOM develops that the entire Maine C**n ancestry is looking down like:
👁️👄👁️
“WHAT THE F**K EVEN IS THAT, KEVIN???”

Health testing REDUCES RISK — it does not unlock:
✨ PREMIUM MAINE C**N™ — FAULTLESS EDITION — 15-YEAR UNLIMITED-KILOMETRE WARRANTY. ✨

I cannot climb inside the uterus in a tiny hi-vis vest yelling:
“HEART GOOD. HIPS STRAIGHT. EYELIDS OUTSIDE. KIDNEYS DON’T START S**T. TAIL — NO KINKS. FOLLOW THE DUCKING BLUEPRINT.” 😭💀

And then… the classic:
“But that breeder down the road offers a replacement Maine C**n for health issues…”

Oh..... 😐
So we’re dealing with unexpected vet bills for P***y #1…

and the solution is…
✨ P***Y #2?! ✨ 😭💀

Replacement P***y™ also comes with hips, eyeballs, kidneys and genetics....So...
WE HAVEN’T SOLVED THE PROBLEM.
WE’VE JUST ADDED ANOTHER PARTICIPANT. 😭

So instead of collecting replacement pu***es like Pokémon…

👏🏽 GET. PET. INSURANCE. 👏🏽

As your breeder, I will emotionally hold your hand…
Virtually, obviously. 😂
I’ll listen. I’ll sympathise. I may even cry with you…
depending on my emotional capacity to be emotionally available 💀

But what I WON’T be doing is holding up my already maxed-out credit card to pay your vet bills....AND offering you another Maine C**n.

I breed Maine C***s.
But I have absolutely NO managerial authority over Mother Nature.

So please…
INSURE 👏🏽 YOUR 👏🏽 P***Y. 👏🏽

🚨 “HOW OFTEN DO YOU BREED YOUR CATS?” 🚨First of all…Why are you asking about my daughters’ reproductive schedules like y...
01/09/2026

🚨 “HOW OFTEN DO YOU BREED YOUR CATS?” 🚨

First of all…
Why are you asking about my daughters’ reproductive schedules like you’re from the ATO — Australian Taxation of Ovaries😭💀

According to our governing council, a female cannot have more than 2 litters in any 12-month period.
Simple enough...
EXCEPT…
THE CATS HAVE NOT READ THE GOVERNING DOCUMENTS💀

Every female is different.

We have Gremlin Shimmy and Lady Pecky, who treat romance like an unsolicited LinkedIn message.
“Thank you for your interest.
Unfortunately, I will not be proceeding with your application at this time.” 💀🙈😆
They call occasionally and then go back to eating, sleeping and contributing absolutely nothing financially to this household.

AND THEN THERE’S…
DIVA AND LULU. 😭💀

BRO.....
These women finish maternity leave, hand the kids over and IMMEDIATELY report back to HR like:
👁️👄👁️
“Hi.
I’m feeling refreshed.
My figure has returned.
I’ve done some personal development.
And I’m ready to be a mommy again. 🥰

Also…
I noticed there are some sexy boys on the premises.
May I flirt with them?”

MA’AM. 😭✋🏽
YOU HAVE JUST HAD CHILDREN.... your children are still on premises... just shut up please 🫠😒😆
Perhaps take a sabbatical?

“NO. ❤️
RELEASE THE MEN.”💀💀💀

Meanwhile I’m standing there like:
THIS IS A REGISTERED BREEDING PROGRAM, NOT LOVE ISLAND: MAINE C**N EDITION. 😭

And before anyone gets concerned — health ALWAYS comes first.
We’ve experienced pyometra with one of our girls after she birthed a singleton...
She was in heat and I did not want to mate her while her baby was 9 weeks old... and thankfully we recognised something wasn't right very quickly and got veterinary care.

So no, we don't just mate a girl because she's walking around singing Beyoncé and rubbing herself against every vertical surface in Victoria. 😭

If she isn't healthy, recovered and cleared by our vet:
APPLICATION DENIED. ❌
But if she's healthy, medically cleared, within our governing rules AND currently presenting herself outside the boys' quarters like:
“HELLO SIR… I HAVE COME TO DISCUSS GENETIC DIVERSITY.” 👀🤣
PUUUURRŔRREOOOWWWWWW💀💀💀

Then apparently I have paperwork to do.
Because contrary to popular belief…

I DO NOT RUN KIFAYAH.

I am simply the exhausted receptionist at a very exclusive feline dating agency. 💀

The queens request the appointment.
The vet provides clearance.
The governing council sets the limits.
The boys provide… genetic diversity. 😭✋🏽

And I stand in the middle yelling:
EVERYBODY PLEASE KEEP YOUR FLUFFY PANTS ON UNTIL THE PAPERWORK IS APPROVED.

So how often do we breed our girls?
There isn't one schedule.
Their health decides.
Their recovery decides.
Our vet decides.
The regulations decide.

And then Diva and Lulu stand outside my office like:

👁️👄👁️

“Okay but… is the sexy boy free tonight?”
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WOMEN.
HR WILL CONTACT YOU. 😭💀🤣

***y

OHHHH STOP IT, LITTLE LADY. 😭😭😭Kifayah Odessa Nyelle out here looking absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS at almost THREE WEEKS OLD. ...
01/09/2026

OHHHH STOP IT, LITTLE LADY. 😭😭😭

Kifayah Odessa Nyelle out here looking absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS at almost THREE WEEKS OLD. 🥹🩷

That tiny serious face.
Those little baby ears.
The chunky paws.
And the expression like she has already experienced BETRAYALS. 😭💀

MA’AM… you literally just got here.

Please return to drinking milk and being a potato before I PUT YOU IN MY POCKET AND REFUSE TO GIVE YOU TO ANYONE. 😭😂🩷

Odessa, you delicious little dumpling. 🥟🥹❤️

🚨 “HOW BIG DO MAINE C**NS ACTUALLY GET?”I’m so tired of this question I have now provided a 6'4" HUSBAND FOR SCALE. 😭💀Ba...
31/08/2026

🚨 “HOW BIG DO MAINE C**NS ACTUALLY GET?”

I’m so tired of this question I have now provided a 6'4" HUSBAND FOR SCALE. 😭💀

Baba kifayah holding foxy like:

“HABIBTI QUICK… TAKE THE PHOTO. I CAUGHT A BIG ONE.” 🎣😭

SIR.

YOU DIDN’T CATCH HIM.

HE WAS ON THE COUCH 10 SECONDS AGO 💀😂

Meanwhile bro is just dangling there like:

👁️👄👁️
Unhand me, bro 💀😆

Look at the LENGTH of this animal😭
His head is in North Melbourne
His tail has just entered South Melbourne💀

At this point I’ve stopped measuring my Maine C***s in kilos.
We measure them in husbands.

And this motherfluffer is approximately:

📏 0.83 Baba Kifayah 😆😆

ONE MORE GROWTH SPURT AND I’M GONNA NEED A TALLER MAN. 😭✋🏽💀😂

KIFAYAH CASSIAN VESPER 🖤BROTHER… TONE. IT. DOWN. 😭✋🏽You are approximately less than three weeks old and already looking ...
30/08/2026

KIFAYAH CASSIAN VESPER 🖤

BROTHER… TONE. IT. DOWN. 😭✋🏽

You are approximately less than three weeks old and already looking at me like you pay bills, own property and have several women waiting for your call💀😂

THE EYES.
THE MUZZLE.
THE LITTLE FACE. 😭😭😭

Sir, you still require assistance locating your own mother.
WHY ARE YOU SERVING THIS MUCH FACE?! 😭🔥

Cassian… my heart genuinely cannot take this no more...🥹🖤

And the worst part???
HE'S ONLY GOING TO GET BETTER. 😭✋🏽

Someone come collect me. I'm emotionally compromised by my own p***y again💀😂🖤

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Melbourne, VIC

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