ColiesCreations.com, Ginkgo Place, Windsor, CA (2026)

05/16/2026

Nic/life update ❤️ so we have round 2/12 of chemo. This is 5 days on the oral drug and then 23 days off. We anticipated this round would be harder, and it is. He has more nausea and fatigue so far, which makes sense! Its building up in his body and killing off the bad rapid growth cancer cells before they can build up and do damage: grow into the "eloquent brain" as his surgeon put it.

Tomorrow morning we visit UCSF imaging department and Nic takes a ride through the MRI tube. They will look at how things are going. Im nervous.

The last time we went in for an MRI, it was supposed to be just a followup- nothing big, just a verification scan to make sure it was all neat & tidy. We didn't bat an eye waiting for results, because they were supposed to say what they always did- that he was fine. But instead they found cancer. Then we had his first oncology appt and thought that because the tumor was smaller, it would be routine and manageable to treat. Instead we got a ticking clock with and an expiration date. So I am nervous because there is no blissful ignorance this time. Now we wait and hold our breath everytime he goes through the tube.

We have done a lot of work to believe he will be ok and he can fight this again and again but it would be stupid to not hold this moment a little. I am all for living in hope but not to the detriment of reality.

So say a little prayer for him if you can. He is, again, so brave and calm for so much of this. And all the support you guys have shown us has been life altering. I am so grateful for you all. If you feel the need, or want, to help ill put info with ways to do so at the bottom. And dont forget- we sure do love you all ❤️❤️❤️

If you want to help, know that anything is incredible! Be it a financial donation, good energetic thoughts, coming over to visit, a meal, hanging out with the kiddos, walking me lol, prayers, hugs, literally any and all of your support is felt and appreciated. The links to my venmo, and our friend's non-profit who is sponsoring us for donations, are below. We love you and thank you so much for all your love and support ❤️

📷 ColiesCreations.com

VENMO LINK: https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2334668875628544875&created=1772668942

NONPROFIT DONATION LINK: https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/when-life-gets-heavy-community-lifts-help-a-dad-recovering-from-brain-surgery?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQ5o5JjbGNrBDmjc2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHqqu4jWD0JCte98gzuTklK1LbB8MPsLpreYuQ2jn6tOCfLgrgdixbsRpURqs_aem_HzqPc_OqGZ0pVqBMgCYg5g

05/11/2026

Being a mom has been there greatest adventures of my life. A variable unparalleled and simply not something I could have prepared for. I always wanted a big full home and I have it now. Its filled with kids and critters. Little joyous spirits calling the house their safe place. Friends. Family. Its a big and full life. I try not to take it for granted.

Pics are from the last few days. I was showered with love from my boys and family. I will make another Nic update post soon too. And try to catch up on posting photoshoots and dogs too. It's coming i promise.

But please just remember that I love you. Yall are part of the magic that fills me up and makes this life so cool. I love you ❤️

05/04/2026

I know i know i know... bevis isnt a great guy to emulate but being a millennial raised watching the taboo Bevis and Butthead, I just couldn't help myself 😅 also potty talk is all the rage to talk about for this 3yo so it was a natural jump. Just glad he doesn't get the reference 💯

04/23/2026

Nic update ❤️ yesterday we started a new journey, he started chemotherapy. It will last a year, this time 🤞, and he will start the IDH inhibitor around month two of chemo. The meds are oral (no port!) and is the same chemotherapy he took 15 years ago.

We have both been holding the beginning of chemo. It felt like a wild new chapter. A drug that kills good & bad in the battlefield that is his body. I am glad he started it... it feels like he's making progress towards healing. And I also dreaded it because it meant the beginning of this cycle of harm for a year.

I wanted to honor the change we were making. Hold ritual around it's beginning. He didn't understand and took his meds nonchalantly, an old pro at this kind of self love through pain. When I realized he had taken them, something broke.

He did nothing wrong. But, I, being in an emotional state of holding for far too long, had the burning desire to run. And I did.

I got in the car and impulsively drove south. In the past, I would go to the beach or pine flats when trying to feel big feelings. But I tapped into my gut & let it drive me. I called my sponsor and dumped my feelings. She told me I didnt need him to create the depth I needed in this moment. I could create my own moment. U do u colie.

And then a rainbow appear on the road ahead of me. Dropping out of a cloud. I was on the right path. I called my lovely aunt, was her home southeast of me supposed to be my destination? No says gut. Then I saw it. An old stomping ground that radiates magic, Mt. Tam.

One spiritual experience after another. Unlocked gates to the top. Wind singing through pine needles. I asked the wind, am I talking to god/the one/the universe? Suddenly every sound stops. I can hear my own heartbeat.. on a mountain that reaches the sky with millions of people down below. Not a sound. The lights of the bay begin to sparkle. I leave, 3 deers stop me. This song comes on.. the one I obsessed over in treatment 17 years ago, in that wave of intense life change, the precipice of a new life. A full circle of a chapter born and closed. Love in all its perfection. And. It. Begins. Now.

Nic and i believe in his ability to heal. We trust this process and are committed to sharing to process with you all.

If you are looking for ways to help:

We have been sponsored by our friends non-profit that collects donations to help us during this time. If you feel so inclined you can make financial donations there (link at bottom) and get a tax write off. Or you can donate via venmo (link also at the bottom).

If you want to visit, come over for a game night, take nic and me on walks, invite me to a meeting, take the kids out for a few hours, bring by a meal, refer our grooming or photography business to people in need of services, clients continuing to book with us, send us your love/good vibes/juju/prayers... we would love any and all of it! YOU guys have been life savers. I love each and every one of you and am so grateful to have this incredible community. I will never not feel humbled by you all. Thank you 🙏❤️ and remember I love you.

VENMO: https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2334668875628544875&created=1772668942

NONPROFIT DONATION LINK: https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/when-life-gets-heavy-community-lifts-help-a-dad-recovering-from-brain-surgery?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQ5o5JjbGNrBDmjc2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHqqu4jWD0JCte98gzuTklK1LbB8MPsLpreYuQ2jn6tOCfLgrgdixbsRpURqs_aem_HzqPc_OqGZ0pVqBMgCYg5g

04/21/2026

We have Wednesday completely available for grooming if you're in need of your pups getting a spa day! We originally had a photography day scheduled but it was rained out so we are taking dogs! If you have a need for grooming and can come in on Wednesday the 22nd, call or text 707-322-9132 to book!

Pics are some of our April dogs so far. I forgot to post February and march with all the extreme life events. Ill update on those all very soon. Stay tuned.

04/07/2026

NIC UPDATE... If you didn't see our last post, please take a moment to view it. Nic did not get great news at his first oncology appt. This was shocking to us. Please read the last post for context.

Nic will be beginning a years worth of chemotherapy starting mid-april. At the 2 month mark he starts the IDH inhibitor medicine thats purpose is to destroy the tumors DNA and make it harder for it to aggressively grow. This med is made for this kind of cancer and we have high hopes that it will work.

Despite being given a stark life expectancy form one of his Drs, we have high hope for another amazing outcome. Here are some of the positives:

1. He is young in the world of cancer, especially this cancer.

2. He has ALOT to live for. Hes a father to our 3yo and step father to Muffin. We are still madly in love and that love grows every day.

3. The other Dr that we spoke to that day seemed a lot more positive. He believes in Nic.

4. We believe in science, medicine, and these treatments. We also believe in miracles and the ability to break out of a statistic. We are visualizing them working miracles in his body and attacking the bad s**t.

5. He is serious and committed to do everything he can to grow himself and live as long as he can.

One of the things we are practicing thanks to the suggestions of my hypnotherapist is to visualize Nic a long way down the road, she said to pick something and see it clearly and focus on that so I asked the powers of AI to create an aged image of nic holding our first grand baby 🥹 so the first few images are of that moment, that I will meditate on frequently.

Other images are of us finding joy and creating memories with the ones we love, which is the other goal. To close this update im leaving you woth a quote from Love, Medicine, & Miracles:

"The message is to chose life in this moment, not to try and live forever. Someday, when you're tired and sore and want to leave your body, your death will be healing- not a failure. You will have been an example of how to deal adversity and leave a legacy of love."

In case you want to help below are links to venmo or our friends non-profit that is sponsoring us. You can make a donation to us on venmo or write off your donation by donating through the nonprofit. We have been loving the meals, visits, financial contributions, game nights, kindness, playdates, prayers, good vibes, dog and photography work, ect. Any and all of it is welcome. And nic is expected to be out of commission for work for the next 4-5 months leaving all our bills to fall on a single income. Thank you tmso much to each and every one of you for making our lives brighter, easier, and more joy-filled during one of the hardest times of our life. We love you all so much.

VENMO: https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2334668875628544875&created=1772668942

NONPROFIT DONATION LINK: https://www.zeffy.com/en-US/donation-form/when-life-gets-heavy-community-lifts-help-a-dad-recovering-from-brain-surgery?fbclid=IwdGRjcAQ5o5JjbGNrBDmjc2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHqqu4jWD0JCte98gzuTklK1LbB8MPsLpreYuQ2jn6tOCfLgrgdixbsRpURqs_aem_HzqPc_OqGZ0pVqBMgCYg5g

04/01/2026

"Years. Not decades". This is what Nic's neuro-oncologist told us today. I expected the worst part was over after they cut into his head to remove there malignancy growing inside. I assumed that the chemo was straightforward. The next step. But when we looked surprised and said to the doctor, "it will only be years, not decades, before it grows back?" She shook her head and said, "No. That's for life expectancy."

I have been far beyond exhausted in the last 3 months but this sentence crushed me.

Now I don't want you all to think that this is set in stone. This is no death sentence. We have a new treatment to do: chemo coinciding with IDH inhibitor drugs to try. Not a lot of data is known. Nic is still young. They upgraded his tumor from a grade 3 to a grade 4 and they are treating it as such. UCSF is along for his journey. Nothing is set in stone. But hearing that sentence was one of the most painful things anyone has ever said to me.

On march 30, yesterday, I made it to my 17 years clean and sober. I sat in the bathtub (my safe space) after Nic's news and cried all afternoon. I tried to really be with all this and sus out these feelings inside. And what what i felt was this feeling of being brand new in recovery again. Where everything is scary and you dont know how to read your own body. You just, like, know you should go to meetings and call other addicts. And today was no different. I called other addicts and planned to go to a meeting and share where I was, tears and all. In that meeting I shared these thoughts:

I asked ChatGPT to tell me what percentage i was in for likelihood of success as a recovering op**te addict staying clean for 17 years, and getting clean at 23 without a relapse & the answer i got was a tiny fraction of

03/29/2026

Self reflection update:
I am a person who moves through life at 100% capacity like 99% of the time. Before Nic's diagnosis I would get s**t done and then look back at my day and be impressed at what I had accomplished. Working nonstop. Taking care of my partner and kids. Getting exercise with our dogs. Dieting and feeling that joy throughout my body. Being a mother/lover/self employer/groomer/massage therapist/photographer, expertly creating a life I was proud of. I felt unstoppable. But I knew that a wrench in the perfectly balanced machine would lead to unknown consequences.

The wrench, cancer, came into our lives and took over. I panicked, I mourned, I planned, and I held my breath going towards Nic's surgery. We were surrounded by generosity in all forms. It was a moving and beautiful experience to witness the community we built carrying us when we couldnt carry ourselves. And I realized I had this small voice inside that thought I had to continue to go at 100% no matter what. There was a voice that said I wasn't allowed a break to feel all the feelings inside. There was work to do, and things to clean, and stuff to repair, and my family to caretake, and a budget to monitor, and dont forget its tax season!

What I did upon arriving home from the hospital was take all that effort I poured into my normal life and tried to spread it thinly over our new life and reality. And I worked and worked and burnt out harder and faster with each day. It was not sustainable and not what I believed people wanted me to do with their generosity. I think they wanted to know I was cared for and I wasn't doing that. But I am now. I marked off many days in the months to come where there will be no work. The weekend has become sacred once again for family, friendship, and fellowship. And it felt like I was surfacing from the depths of the ocean and taking deep fulfilling breaths again.

I appreciate you all so much for your help and love. And im grateful im seeing this unearthed patter early so I can move and adjust it. And study it!! Ill make another post in a few days explaining it all 🙌

Pics of Easter dogs, no kings, and my kids being the light.

03/22/2026

LIFE UPDATE: On Sunday the 15th nic got his bandages and drain out. This caused swelling and headaches but over all the incision site looked great. We were discharged in the 16th and came home in the late afternoon.

Nic has been overall really good! He has fatigue and headaches and pain & weakness, especially in the muscle they had to cut through to access the skull. He also has a new sensitivity to sound which makes healing around pur chaotic home a little difficult 😬😅❤️‍🩹🙃 dogs barking, kids joyful squeals, apparently the neighbors air conditioner is loud... so he had been hibernating.

On friday I started to work again. I really want yall to know that I am still working as hard as I can through this whole thing. I had a busy day scheduled, 2 XL doodles and 2 small haircuts and a bath dog. And then we got the call from a client, 2 doodles and another small dog got skunked 🦨🐕🐕🐕 i took them in and added them for skunk baths and shavedowns. I did it because i knew those clients were in a bind. Their house would be overwhelmingly doused in skunk smell for months. Their dogs spreading it all over the house. It was important to help them in timely manner.

Consciously i know i should be trying to be in the moment and slow down. But being a business owner, mom, loving partner, boss bitch lol doesn't always allow for slow downs. I am trying my absolute hardest to slay this life. But I appreciate you all soo much for all the help, meals, donations, work you have passed our way. I am also here to say that we will gratefully take any other help we can get.. be it financial, a meal, prayers and good vibes, we welcome it all. We will be making significantly less for the next 3 months and can use help! If you want to help financially, my venmo link is at the bottom ❤️

I posted some of the things that brought me joy during this little spring break ❤️ thank you all so much again. If I dont respond right away its only because im at capacity but will respond as soon as possible ❤️❤️❤️

VENMO: https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2334668875628544875&created=1772668942

03/13/2026

Edit: the good drugs have worn off and he is starting to feel more pain. But UCSF staff is incredible and on it to help.

UPDATE ON NIC: Nic is out of surgery 🎉 He is very tired but was knew who he was, who I was, why he was there, the date, ect. Hes doing great for just having incredibly invasive surgery. He was even making the nurses laugh and being his sweet usual self.

He is all bandaged up and exhausted from surgery but is managing pain well and even got to skip the stay in the icu because the procedure went so well. He is in a step down from the icu and should still be here for the next 3 nights. This road of recovery will be long and quite grueling in the beginning. The next step is to receive the biopsy from the tumor and see what kind of treaent we will need to treat left over cancer cells. So we will see what happens.

We love you all and are so grateful. The sheer amount of texts, messages, and calls checking in helps me feel grounded and us both feel loved. He was so brave, IS so brave. And im so glad this first hurdle is down. Just keep praying for an easy recovery and minimal need for cancer treatment!

‼️ Nic is unable to life anything over 5lbs for at least 6 weeks post surgery which means he is unable to work, help with the kids, clean, cook, ect. We are incredibly grateful to have Nic's brother Doug essentially moving in and helping us while Nic is healing god bless him.

‼️Yall have asked about how to help, here's some ideas: we might barely be covering our bills over the next 3 months. I am going to continue to work starting the 20th but even then I will not be bringing in what we need to cover bills. If you can and want to help donate financially, I put my venmo in my bio & stories. No pressure to do this! You can also keep scheduling your dogs for grooming, or yourself for bodywork or photography! My bestie Becky created a meal train thingy which I will also include a link to in bio & stories. Or just feel free to bring something by! You can visit! Nic would LOVE visitors once we get home from the hospital. We should be home on Monday the 16th. Or even just sending us your good thoughts/vibes/juju/prayers makes a huge difference.

Pic of Nic in pre-op, and the places my aunt, uncle, and I walked to stay sane while he was in his procedure.

ColiesCreations.com

05/16/2026

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