06/26/2026
Are you waiting to feel confident?
I hear this a lot.
"I want to do more with my horse but I just don't feel confident enough yet."
I get it. I've been there. But I want to gently push back on that, because I think that thinking is keeping a lot of riders stuck.
Here's what I've learned after years of teaching horsemanship, Confidence is not something you wait for. It's something you build. And you build it the same way you build everything else that matters. One small step at a time. One try at a time. One ride at a time.
We have this idea that confident people feel ready before they act. But watch the people you admire most, with their horses or just in life, and you'll notice something. They weren't always confident. They were just willing to try. Willing to try before they felt ready. Willing to look imperfect in the process.
When I started making videos, I was nervous about it. I was worried. What if I make a mistake? What if I do it wrong? Then I made myself start making videos. Now it is easy.
That willingness to try is what built the confidence. Not the other way around.
This is especially true with horses.
Horses are mirrors. If you are waiting, hesitating, second-guessing, your horse feels it. And he responds accordingly. Which makes you less confident. Which makes him less solid. Which confirms your fear that you weren't ready.
It's a loop. And the only way out of the loop is to decide to try anyway.
Not a big dramatic leap. Just a try.
Set up an obstacle. Ask your horse to try with clarity. That moment of leadership will do more for your confidence than any amount of watching, reading, or waiting to feel ready ever will.
Action creates confidence. Confidence is not created without action.
Leadership, confidence, and trust all go together. Horses learn to trust us through experiences. It takes experiences for both me and my horse to trust each other. I need to be clear, give clear releases at the right time, stay calm, and be there for my horse.
My horse learns that I will step up and lead, and they can trust me, even when things get tricky. We earn that trust by doing, not by thinking about doing.
That's all this is.
So here's what I want to invite you to do.
VTRC #58 is open now. Videos are due July 27. That gives you the entire challenge period to set up your course, learn the pattern, practice the pieces, and film when you're ready.
You don't need a fancy setup. You don't need a broke show horse. You don't need to be an experienced competitor. You need a horse, some poles, a bridge, and the willingness to try.
The pattern gives you something specific to work on. The deadline gives you a reason to actually do it. The judge gives you honest feedback on your ride. What you did well and what to work on next. And the ribbon that shows up in your mailbox a few weeks later? That's just a little reminder that you stepped up and did it!
That you showed up.
There are five riding course levels:
Mini - Beginner horse or rider
Lite - Walk with optional trot
Basic - Walk Trot
Trail Rider - Walk, Trot, Simple Lope
Challenge Course - Walk, Trot, Lope
There are also In-Hand classes and a Liberty class.
Older horses welcome. Green horses welcome.
All breeds, all disciplines.
If you ride horses you belong here.
The first time is the hardest. After that it just gets easier.
Enter VTRC #58: www.VirtualTrailRiderChallenge.com
Talk soon,
Kelli 🐴
Kelli Paulson · KelliHorsemanship.co
P.S.
Do you want to improve your skills first?
Have you done a VTRC before and you want to improve your skills?
You will love the Trail Obstacle Project!
Check it out: https://kelli.samcart.com/products/toh-2024---project
