08/30/2026
SHARING:
I’ve seen so many posts this morning from people rehoming their dogs because “they don’t do well with the kids,” and I’m probably going to have an unpopular opinion about this:
Sometimes your dog does not have a kid problem. Your dog has an advocacy and management problem.
When Justin and I got together, Mella was a toddler. And I’m not going to rewrite history and pretend she was some perfectly gentle little angel around animals. 😂 She wasn’t. She was impulsive, rough, and at an age where she didn’t understand that her actions could hurt another living thing.
Even my most bombproof, sweetest dog was not expected to tolerate having her tail pulled, ears grabbed, eyes poked, toys stolen, or a child climbing all over her.
And I also had Ripley and Snafu—high-drive working dogs who absolutely were not going to tolerate that kind of behavior.
So I didn’t expect them to.
It was never my dogs’ responsibility to tolerate inappropriate behavior from a child simply because she was a child. It was OUR responsibility as the adults to protect both of them.
That meant management.
There were periods where the dogs and Mella simply did not have free access to each other. The dogs knew she existed. She knew they existed. But they didn’t need to be best friends. They didn’t need to cuddle. They didn’t need to play together. They didn’t need to “figure it out.”
We used crates. We rotated. We supervised. We created physical separation. And most importantly, I still made sure my dogs’ physical, mental, and emotional needs were being met.
Separation is not neglect.
Crating and rotating is not failure.
Management is not a bad word.
At the same time, we worked on the CHILD.
We taught impulse control. We taught boundaries. We taught her that you do not pull tails. You do not grab ears. You do not poke eyes. You do not crawl into a dog’s food bowl. You do not steal toys out of a dog’s mouth. You do not climb on dogs. You do not invade their crate or their bed. And when a dog walks away from you, you leave the dog alone.
As she became capable of respecting those boundaries, she earned more freedom around the dogs.
There was even an incident with Miya that I will never forget. Mella pulled her tail hard enough that Miya screamed and turned around and snapped at her.
Mella cried that the dog tried to bite her.
I watched exactly what happened, and I did not punish my dog for communicating after being hurt. I explained to Mella that she had been told repeatedly not to pull a dog’s tail, she hurt Miya, and Miya reacted because she was in pain.
That was a major turning point.
Obviously, I am NOT saying children should be allowed to get bitten to “teach them a lesson.” The entire goal is preventing that situation through supervision, management, and education. But I am also not going to demonize a dog for reacting to pain after a human crosses its boundaries.
Today? I trust Mella with my dogs. My dogs trust her. They love her. She understands them, respects their space, and knows how to interact with them appropriately.
But that relationship was BUILT.
So when I see, “I have to rehome my dog because he growled at my toddler,” I wish we would stop automatically treating the growl like proof that the dog is bad.
A growl is information.
What happened before the growl? Was the toddler climbing on the dog? Cornering them? Taking their toy? Touching them while they were eating? Following them when they tried to leave? Were there earlier signs of discomfort that nobody noticed?
Yes, there are absolutely situations where a dog is genuinely unsafe around children and rehoming may be the safest, most responsible decision. Safety comes first. But there are also a LOT of situations where families could benefit from better management, more supervision, clearer boundaries, and realistic expectations of both the dog AND the child before immediately deciding the dog has to go.
Your toddler cannot reliably self-regulate yet.
Your toddler does not fully understand consequences yet.
Your toddler needs you to advocate for them.
Your dog needs you to advocate for them too.
Having a baby or a toddler does not mean your dog suddenly needs to tolerate everything that child does because “they’re just a kid.”
And if nobody has ever told you this:
It is 100% okay to keep your dog and your young child separated while your child learns how to safely and respectfully interact with animals.
Your dog can still have a fulfilled life.
Your child can still have a wonderful childhood.
And eventually, with proper management, education, training, and boundaries, they may develop a beautiful relationship.
They do not need unlimited access to each other to be family.
