09/05/2026
College football has returned, which means grown adults across America will once again spend 12 Saturdays allowing a 19-year-old to determine whether they speak to their families after 4 PM.
🚨🏈 WE ARE SO BACK 🚨🏈
Here at Patriot Paws, we would like to clarify our official game day policies:
🐾 Dogs ARE permitted to wear team jerseys despite contributing absolutely nothing to the NIL collective.
🐾 “WE” is acceptable when discussing your team despite your last recorded 40-yard dash probably being in elementary school.
🐾 Calories consumed while College GameDay is on DO NOT COUNT. This is veterinary medicine, not human medicine. Don’t ask us to defend that scientifically.
🐾 Screaming “CATCH THE BALL!” at a Division I receiver while dropping a mozzarella stick onto your own shirt is encouraged.
🐾 Your dog does NOT understand why you yelled “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!” loud enough to wake the ancestors. Your cat understands and thinks the offensive coordinator should be fired.
🐾 Saying “I don’t even care anymore” while visibly caring more than you’ve ever cared is perfectly normal.
Here in South Carolina, there are two types of college football fans:
🐅🧡💜 Clemson fans — fueled by orange, unreasonable expectations, and the unwavering belief that there is, in fact, Something in These Hills.
Go Tigers. We said what we said 🐅
Then there are the Gamecocks — carrying generations of emotional baggage, yet emerging every August with the confidence of a program that’s never hurt them before:
🐓❤️ “THIS IS OUR YEAR, BABY! C***S BY 90!”
We respect the delusion. And before anyone gets offended: we love you all.
Drop your team in the comments and BEGIN THE NONSENSE 👇👇
Bonus points for pets in game day gear. Extra points if they look like they’re being held against their will for a photo they did not consent to.
Trash talk is encouraged. Keep it fun, keep it football, and if the comments turn into the NCAA Hunger Games, remember: we know where most of you live because it’s in your pets’ medical records.
That is a joke. Our attorney asked us to emphasize that.
Happy College Football Season from your fellow fans at Patriot Paws 🏈❤️🐾