08/11/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/197TFXCqg8/
Unpopular opinion: A bit isn’t only as soft as the hands using it. A bit is as soft as the HORSE allows it to be.
Before everyone gets fired up—hear me out.
There’s a huge difference between being rough and being effective.
When I pick up on a horse, I start soft. Always.
I ask with the least amount of pressure I think that horse can understand.
But if I get no response?
The pressure increases.
And it continues to increase until I get the response I’m looking for—or even an honest step toward the right answer.
Then?
I release. Immediately.
Because a horse doesn’t learn from me pulling on him.
A horse learns when the pressure goes away.
That’s the part I think sometimes gets lost in the conversation about “soft hands.”
Soft hands don’t mean hands that never increase pressure.
To me, good hands are fair hands.
Hands that ask quietly first.
Hands that escalate when necessary.
Hands that recognize the smallest try.
And most importantly, hands that know exactly when to RELEASE.
There are phases to making a finished horse.
In the beginning, I might have to ask a question at a 1.
No answer? I go to a 2.
Still nothing? A 3.
And I will continue increasing until that horse says, “Oh. THAT’S what you wanted.”
Then everything goes quiet.
Pretty soon, he answers at a 3.
Then a 2.
Eventually?
He answers at a 1.
That’s softness.
And that’s the part people don’t always see when they watch a finished horse floating around on a loose rein with someone barely moving their fingers.
That horse wasn’t necessarily born understanding those tiny cues.
He was taught to become responsive to them.
I don’t believe being fair to a horse means never making him uncomfortable.
I believe being fair means making the answer incredibly clear.
Ask softly.
Increase when necessary.
Recognize the try.
Release immediately.
And repeat it until eventually the whisper is enough.
The goal isn’t to use more pressure.
The goal is to educate the horse until you need less of it.
That, to me, is what a truly soft horse looks like.
