04/26/2026
Are you working on the ânew youâ for your dog? đ
Iâm always amazed that this incredibly obvious aspect of the human/dog relationship dynamic is so often overlooked, or at the very least, underestimated.
Youâve spent all this time showing your dog precisely who you are, what youâll accept, and what youâll do when behavior is problematic. They know how far they can push, they know how firm, or not you can be. They know how uncertain youâve been. They know how heart-first youâve been. They know how soft you truly are.
Like any dysfunctional human relationship, where one party has allowed themselves to be trod upon, and then, after much work, learns how to stand up for themselvesâhow to have and articulate boundaries, and how to share consequences for trespasses against said boundariesâbut finds that these new skills and this new awareness is met with pushback and disbelief...your dog will do the same. Because thatâs what you taught them about you, because thatâs who they know you as.
You wouldnât be surprised if your human counterpart needed many repetitions, reminders, and considerable âconvincingâ that the new you is in fact a real, permanent, required-to-be-taken-seriously youâand that denial and pushback of this new you will not only be futile, but will also have consequences. If one were wise and experienced in the arena of relationship renegotiation, one would, or should expect this friction and effort. And so we should also expect that when we show up and âannounceâ to our dogs that âitâs a new dayâ, and we are in fact ânewâ people insofar as how this whole human/dog thing is going to go downâthat we are here to take charge, to set rules and standards, and that we WILL be respected, and that we WILL enforce all we are demandingâthat it might also take a considerable bit of repetition and âconvincingâ to prove that this ânewâ you is in fact one to be taken seriously and responded to accordingly.
The upshot? Donât be surprised after having spent a great deal of time presenting a prior version of youâwith all the mistakes, dysfunction, perceptions, and associations that were baked-in to that presentation and relationship dynamicâthat your dog requires a bit more than your optimistic pronouncements, and newly acquired, but strangely alien, likely shaky, and most definitely unearned swagger...to be convinced.
