07/22/2026
There is a certain quiet that settles over our home after the puppies start going home. Not even all of them. Even the loss of just one is felt.
I get asked all the time, “I don’t know how you do this. I couldn’t do it.”
I guess I want to explain how I can.
Five years ago, when I purchased Griffin with the plan for him to become the foundation sire of Wild Highland Standard Poodles, I hadn’t yet sent a litter home. Actually, five years before bringing Griffin home, when I first had the idea that I wanted to produce Standard Poodles, I still hadn’t sent a litter home. I had spent years planning this breeding program without ever knowing what it would feel like to say goodbye.
In the twenty years leading up to that point, I had only ever lost one dog. I grew up as a dog groomer’s daughter. I groomed dogs myself, worked in pet care, pet sat, dog walked, and had the privilege of being involved with countless animals throughout my life. My family has owned Poodles since the day I was born. I had been involved with whelping through family members and others in the pet care industry. I learned to administer medications ranging from routine prescriptions to chemotherapy drugs that required careful handling. I learned vaccinations, neonatal care, and so much more.
Dogs have always been my life. I thought I understood every part of becoming a breeder. What I didn’t understand was what it would feel like to raise an entire litter, love every single puppy, and then let them go.
When I sent my first litter home, I learned a lot that hit me right in the gut all at once. My application left a lot to be desired. My purchase contract wasn’t nearly protective enough. I realized there were so many things I hadn’t even considered because experience teaches lessons that books simply can’t.
It was hard. It hurt. I cried a lot.
I still cry.
Not usually in the moment the puppies leave, because by then I’ve spent weeks preparing myself. It’s later, in the quiet moments, when all of a sudden something feels different and I begin to process the loss of something I had been caring for every single day for months. It’s when I automatically count heads and realize someone isn’t there. It’s when I notice a favorite toy sitting untouched because I know exactly which puppy always carried it around. It’s when our home feels quieter.
I mother every puppy. Not just as a litter, but as individuals. I know their personalities, their relationships, their little habits, and the tiny things that make each one who they are.
For a while, all I wanted was to keep every single puppy. But I eventually realized that wouldn’t be what was best for me, it wouldn’t be what was best for my own dogs, and most importantly, it wouldn’t be what was best for the puppies. They deserve their own person. Their own family. Their own life.
Wanting to produce Standard Poodles came from a place of deep knowledge. It wasn’t a random idea. It was the culmination of my entire life’s work and everything I knew best. Dogs. Grooming. Pet care. Raising puppies. Whelping. Animal husbandry. Health care. Every experience I had seemed to lead me here.
People often assume breeding is easy money, but the reality is very different. There were years I worked other jobs simply to afford my own dogs before they ever became part of this program. Every breeding dog I own came home as a tiny puppy and was raised for years before contributing to the program. In fact, most of my dogs haven’t even had puppies yet. Years went into this before the first litter was ever born.
Then one day the puppies arrive, and whether it’s hard or not, you’ve made a commitment. You can’t simply stop because saying goodbye hurts. These are living animals depending on you every single day. Just like any career, there are moments that are unexpectedly difficult, but you don’t walk away when you’ve already committed your heart, your time, and your life to something you believe in.
So you learn.
I’ve learned that the very best way to make saying goodbye hurt a little less isn’t to love the puppies any less. It’s to protect them more. To make sure they leave with families who truly understand what they’re committing to. Families who will love them, advocate for them, and give them the incredible life they deserve. Families who are prepared for fifteen years with a highly intelligent, deeply sensitive Standard Poodle.
I have been incredibly blessed, and these puppies have been blessed. Time and time again, the right families seem to find the right puppies. Watching the joy on a family’s face as they meet their puppy, then seeing the updates as they grow, become hiking partners, couch companions, therapy dogs, best friends, and beloved family members… that’s what makes all of this worthwhile.
Dogs bring an incredible amount of joy into people’s lives. There is no debating that. Whether someone chooses to rescue or chooses a breeder, there is a reason they choose the dog they do. I feel incredibly honored and privileged to play a small part in preserving a breed that I have devoted so much of my life to.
Will I do this forever? Probably not. It’s a tremendous amount of work, and I always knew it would be. Even when I’m four feet deep in the snow on a Vermont mountain with the wind howling, walking dogs multiple times a day to make sure every need is met, I remind myself why I chose this path.
It’s 365 days a year.
I love my dogs.
And when all the puppies leave, yes… it hurts.
Our home becomes much quieter. When the last puppy leaves, it’s almost silent, except for my children and my own dogs. But I’ve learned how to let go with love. Not because I love them any less, but because I know they were never truly mine to keep.
My job is to be their steward while they’re with me. To love them fiercely, teach them everything I can, prepare them for the world alongside their parents, and then trust that the families I’ve chosen, and who have chosen them, will love them just as deeply.
I think of it a little like a wildflower. You don’t have to pick it to appreciate how beautiful it is. Sometimes loving something means allowing it to become exactly what it was always meant to be.
And on that note…
Yesterday we sent home our first two beautiful girls.
Denali and Aurora went home together to the same wonderful family. Happy little bouncing babies, beginning the next chapter of their lives.
Today we’re preparing to send five more puppies home throughout the week. Two of them will be staying with us just a little bit longer before heading to their families, and we still have one female reservation available. Later today we’ll know which sweet girl will be looking for her forever family.
Our home is getting a little quieter every day, but our hearts are so full knowing these puppies are exactly where they’re meant to be.
