09/05/2026
It appears Mother has decided I should assist in the education of the giant draft child.
Today's lesson involved convincing Diesel that an enormous stuffed bear is, in fact, not a predator.
Naturally, I demonstrated. I investigated the bear thoroughly, gave it several appropriately suspicious looks, and made it abundantly clear that if it attempted anything unreasonable, I was fully prepared to bite it.
This, I felt, was an excellent example.
Diesel seemed unconvinced. So I continued supervising.
Every time Mother asked Diesel to inspect the bear, I made certain to inspect it first. One cannot simply allow children to make these decisions without experienced guidance.
Whenever Mother became distracted by Diesel's education, I gently reminded her that I was also available for admiration.
Repeatedly.
Eventually she asked me to demonstrate. Being both generous and exceptionally brave, I allowed the enormous fuzzy beast to be placed upon my own magnificent back. I stood quietly, proving once again that professionalism is alive and well in this establishment.
Did I receive applause?
No.
Treats?
(Insufficient quantities.)
The next time she approached with the bear, I made the executive decision to leave. A leader must establish boundaries.
Oddly, this was described as "avoiding responsibilities."
Meanwhile, whenever Diesel was training, I remained close by to offer helpful guidance, quality control inspections, and occasional nose pokes.
Mother referred to this as "interfering." Before I knew it, I was tied to the wall.
Apparently "being overly involved in every lesson" is now considered a disciplinary offense.
To make matters worse, Diesel eventually accepted the bear on his own back.
Mother celebrated.
No one acknowledged that I had clearly paved the way through my outstanding demonstration, emotional support, and constant supervision.
Leadership is a thankless burden.
You're welcome, giant draft child.
