06/02/2026
🩷COME ADOPT CRAYON🩷
Hello. My name is Crayon. I am in kindergarten and I am wanted in 7 schools.
Don't Ask.
My teacher said, "Please draw a picture." Next thing you know, 14 crayons are missing, the class hamster is somehow wearing a backpack, and I'm sitting quietly in the corner acting just as surprised as everyone else. They say there are "witnesses," but all the witnesses are kindergartners, so honestly the case is falling apart.
I am a very smart puppy. Yesterday I spent 30 minutes looking for my tennis ball. It was under my paw. Last week I barked at a cardboard box until I scared myself and ran away. My report card says I am "a joy to have in class" and "under no circumstances should Crayon be left unsupervised with markers."
If you adopt me, I will protect your home from dangerous threats such as leaves, shadows, and the sound of your own refrigerator. I will also steal one shoe—not both. I am not a monster. Then I will follow you around while you look for it and offer absolutely no useful information.
Please adopt me. My teacher says I have a bright future, but she also says if one more glue stick disappears, she's calling my parole officer. ❤️🐶🖍️
Crayon's adoption fee is $150 (CASH OR CHECK) and that includes spay/neuter, microchip, rabies, and up to date on all vaccinations.