Tales of a Ramen Noodle

06/16/2026

Breaking News: "Local cockapoo sentenced to cone after alleged crimes against his own skin. Defendant maintains his innocence and claims the itching was 'worth it.'"

06/15/2026

Mom said we were taking Mitchell to the doctor because he's 17 years old and deserves special attention.

Which seemed unfair.

So I came too.
Then I got chicken nuggets
And now I'm making direct eye contact with him while I eat them.

I don't make the rules.

06/14/2026

Some dogs herd sheep.
Some dogs retrieve birds.
I monitor my grandmother's location from an adjacent property.

Grandma: walking peacefully in her own driveway
Me, conducting a completely unnecessary es**rt mission from the other side of the fence:
"DON'T WORRY, GRANDMA. I'M STILL WITH YOU." 🫡🐾

06/13/2026

Mom brought me to work because apparently morale is a thing.
My duties today included:
• Carrying my ball from one meeting to another • Supervising snacks
• Staring at people until they threw my ball
• Laying directly in the middle of the walkway

Management has not yet recognized my contributions, but I remain committed to excellence.

06/11/2026

Mom said this was a going to be a quiet shift.
Then they put me directly under a screaming shih tzu with the emotional stability of a malfunctioning smoke detector.
I would like HR to know I remained professional despite the psychological warfare.

06/11/2026

To Every Cat Owner Who Hasn't Spayed or Neutered Yet:

​We are drowning, and it’s only June.
​Every single summer, rescues and shelters brace themselves for "Kitten Season." But this year, the wave didn’t just hit us - it overwhelmed us. We are at an absolute breaking point. Fosters are completely maxed out, shelters are at double capacity, resources are depleted, and volunteers are running on fumes and heartbreak.

​When we beg you to fix your pets, we hear the same refrains:
​"But I want my kids to experience the miracle of birth."
​"I'll just find good homes for the kittens myself."
​"My cat stays indoors anyway, it’s fine."

​The Harsh Reality: You Are Not an Island
​Please, stop and look at the bigger picture. Your cat and their potential litter do not exist in a vacuum. You might think, "It’s just four or five kittens, what’s the big deal?"
​The big deal is that you are one of tens of thousands of people saying the exact same thing right now.

We Are Begging You: Choose Compassion over Procrastination

06/08/2026

People see my fluffy little face and think “what a peaceful gentleman.”

FALSE.

Inside me lives the soul of a cocker spaniel. Which means:

- my entire body itches if a leaf looks at me wrong
- my ears can transform into a sourdough starter with alarming speed
- and every car ride includes dramatic head shaking powerful enough to alter local weather patterns

Mom says my ears smell like “a bakery with unresolved issues.”

I prefer the term artisan.

Mom can't wait for allergy season to be over...

06/05/2026

06/02/2026

Redemption arc complete.
Today I successfully entered the vehicle WITHOUT immediately falling into the floorboard.
Mom says she’s “proud of my growth.”
I remain humble despite my athletic achievements.

05/31/2026

I LEAPED INTO THE VEHICLE LIKE A POWERFUL WOLF.”
…and then the floor attacked me.

One second I was an elite tactical operative.
The next second I was fighting for my life in the footwell.