04/18/2026
Going to horse shows with your friends can be such a fantastic, fun experience, Tonya Johnston, Mental Skills Coach writes. As a matter of fact, the social aspects of our sport can play a huge role in our overall motivation to ride and compete. We get to root for each other, be silly together between classes, clap and whoop after each other’s great rides, talk through our shared experiences, and help one another through the occasional rough patch.
Some days, however, having to compete against your friends can feel like a distracting challenge. Who will have to go first? Who will ride well? Who will get more attention from the trainers? Who will be champion or reserve? It can catch you off-guard to feel competitive with people you consider good friends, and you may feel strange, vulnerable, or even disloyal in those instances. If this sounds familiar and you have occasionally felt off-kilter when competing with your friends, here are some ideas that can help you stay focused and composed.
For starters, you are hopefully at a horse show first and foremost to compete against yourself—to be better than you were the day before, to help your horse put forth his or her best performance, and achieve your goals together. So, the phrase “competing against friends” is really just a way of describing the situation that occurs when your friends happen to be in your class or division. One of the best ways to steer clear of the distraction inherent in worrying about your friend’s performance versus your own is to stay focused on your personal progress and performance goals. For example, is one of your performance goals to use your outside aids to get arrow-straight to each jump as you come out of the corner? Perhaps you are also focusing on riding the course in sections by taking a breath in each corner? It can be nice to talk about your performance goals with your friends (especially the ones in your class) so that you can support one another. This way you can intentionally and specifically counteract the temptation to measure, compare, and define success based on scores and ribbons.
To redirect your focus from the social aspects involved in competing with your friends, it can be helpful to create a mantra for yourself that can act as a quick key to your performance goals. If you were to find yourself worrying about your friends’ opinions or wondering how your day will stack up against theirs, a mantra can bring you into the moment and create a productive thought. Continuing with the examples from above, “Like an arrow” or “Just breathe” are mantras that you could use to put your mind on task and on your goals. Repeating them to yourself as you walk to the warm-up ring, for example, can be a useful touchstone for productive thoughts and positive action.
📎 Continue reading this article at https://www.theplaidhorse.com/2024/04/19/competingagainstfriends/
