05/28/2026
Where is the "we" in horsemanship?
I began reading the book "Good to Great" this morning. It talks about companies which have gone from a good company, to one that has surpassed most others.
It's difficult to talk about a company without talking about leadership (a term often used in horsemanship). One element of these companies that the research team reviewed was the CEO, the leader.
They found common characteristics in the leadership of these companies that skyrocketed in earnings--and not the ones you might imagine. The CEOs had high levels of "personal humility."
One measure they specifically looked at was how often these leaders used "we" versus "I." What an interesting thing to identify. Second, they were fiercely driven in their pursuits.
I could not help but draw the comparisons to horsemanship. In the last episode of the podcast, Justin and I talked about being co-creators of our lives. I have often said we are the "creators--in large part." But it is much more accurate to say we are the co-creators. Not everything is within our control, but much is, and that is also true of horsemanship.
But we are always at least one half of the creation, of what occurs, of the experiences we have.
Yet, when problems arise in horsemanship, we seem to forget that. It is often the horse entirely to blame. We love to label horses--stubborn, disrespectful, naughty, lazy, dangerous.
In seeking assistance the situation is almost always explained as what the horse is doing. There is no we. It is not, we are having trouble leaving the herd, we are running into issues with bucking, we can't come together, but instead the horse is barn sour, the horse is dangerous, the horse doesn't like to be caught.
It feels better to not accept blame, to not believe that we are one half the experience that is created. It may feel good, but it is ineffective. We give away all our power--which is sad. Perhaps more importantly, we place all responsibility on a horse--and that is unreasonable. Not only is it unreasonable, but it is also the reason so many horses are discarded and end up unwanted.
Ironically, like so many concepts in horsemanship, the co-creation process is true of not just our horse relationships, but our human relationships as well. Not surprisingly, there has been a trend to label the people in our life--toxic parents, narcissistic partners. And it is all an out. When we place all blame and responsibility on another, we are taking the easy way out, by not looking inwardly to determine that part we are playing in co-creating the relationship or experience.
When we make the issue all about the horse, we are not being a good leader. We are not developing into a leader in which a relationship can continue to skyrocket to new heights. So while it's sometimes hard to accept the role of co-creator, trust me, I haven't always wanted to accept it, it is the key to both progress and success in horsemanship, and life.
