10/09/2026
We need to stop normalizing grown women criticizing and putting juniors on blast
Well, with all the rain we got from the Hurricane going by in the Gulf, my farm got pretty flooded and I guess I feel the need to get on my soap box to keep my toes dry.
In a new episode of why is our industry so toxic, please, please, please, can we stop normalizing openly criticizing juniors on social and posting videos and photos and publicly shaming them? We, the adults in the room, need to lead by example and not encourage this disgusting “mean girl mob” mentality.
Before some people try to push me off my soap box and pointing out that a few months ago, I did publicly point the finger at a prominent hunter trainer on my page and so I should take a dose of my own medicine. He was a professional, like in a grown ass man. I didn’t post a picture or a video for the World to see. And I did offer his team to publish his side of the story and to also present his side of the story. So there is that…
So let’s say you have a very valid point about some very questionable judging at indoors. Do we think that posting a clip of a minor making a mistake and pointing at the fact that she is a horrible person for not declining her score and giving her ribbons to the next rider in the order because not 1 but 2 judges scored her very high. If you have beef with the judges, go on and speak loudly I don’t agree with them a lot of times. But why drag a kid who didn’t do anything wrong (minus having a swap mid course) into it and making it sound like she is at fault.
The point about the poor judging could be made as eloquently with just a stock picture (see above👆🏻).
Saying that shows are a public place, that she is tough, that she hurt all the other juniors and that it’s legal to publish a photo/video without her consent and therefore she deserves the public humiliation is a concept I fail to grasp.
But this is not a one and done.
In our industry is becoming the norm. Famous junior rider uses a Pelham with a single rein at the bottom, lynch mob comes and starts to just tear down a 14YO, calling her the worst horse abuser and going as far as death threats. Really, you are going to wish a 14YO to die because she didn’t use a converter?
Or taking a video of a very obviously lame horse closing circle, and tearing the rider apart, name calling, summoning PETA and again issuing serious threats.
Stop.
And when I mean stop, don’t stop championing for a better equestrian World and a cleaner industry. Don’t stop advocating for the horses. Don’t stop calling out professionals being anything else than professionals, but for Christ sake, can we leave the kids out of it.
Not that I think a 17YO has zero responsibility. They should be held accountable for some of their choices and actions.
But public shaming and being stoned by a mob of keyboard warriors is not healthy.
I can assure you that everyday I tell myself, thank God, I was born in the 70s and there is no visual proofs of all the stupid s**t I did wrong when I was a teen. Thank god we didn’t have internet and so when I f…ed up, only the people at that specific horse show could point the finger at me.
Then eventually I grew up, learned from my mistakes, my front lobe developed and now 35 years later I have a thick skin and I can battle with all the meanies in my comment section.
Again there is no excuse for showing a lame horse. Not one. But can we actually point the finger at the professional/expert who is the one to blame.
Can we complain very loudly about the unacceptable bias in judging.
Can we be louder about horse welfare. Can we put on blast the shady people in the industry.
But also can we lead by example for the next generation of horsewomen and horseman and not accept that it’s ok to gang up on minors and drag them in the mud when they got where they are because of adults making poor decisions.
If you have beef with the judging, file a complaint, reach out to the USEF, organize a group of people to take it up to whom it will help the change,
If you see a lame horse showing, grab 2 big guys and 3 baseball bats and go Tonya Harding on the trainer so he/she feels what it’s like to have to limp around. THIS IS A JOKE (take a breath, violence is never the answer.
You see a bit, training method you don’t like, walk up to the trainer (phone in your pocket) and go have a discussion.
If you are going to take it to social media to reach out more people, keep it professional, and try to make your point without personal attacks. Allow the interested party to also have a voice. If they decline, it’s fine but at least it was fair.
Once again, see something, say something. But be the bigger person and the adult in the room and convey your message in the most thoughtful way.
