10/14/2026
This year has been hard.
And I know I'm not alone in that. I know so many people who have been walking through some incredibly difficult seasons. It's been one of those years where it feels like the weapons formed against us might actually be prospering.
The enemy has been fighting hard against so many of us. And I keep trying to remind myself that sometimes the enemy fights so hard because he knows you're a threat. You're a weapon for the Kingdom of God, and he would love nothing more than to convince you to lay that weapon down.
But knowing that doesn't necessarily make the battle any easier.
If I'm being vulnerable, a lot of things have crashed and burned this year. Plans, goals, dreams, expectations⌠Things I was so excited about. Things I genuinely believed God had placed on my heart.
I haven't spent nearly as much time in the saddle as I would have liked. I've been trying to navigate what my body can and cannot handle, and that's been a difficult thing to accept. There are goals I've worked toward, things I've wanted to accomplish and experiences I've looked forward to that my body seems to have other plans for. And that's hard.
Sometimes these walks are incredibly lonely, too. We hear things like, "Before God elevates you, He separates you." That sometimes God has to pull you away from people, places and things to bring you closer to Him. Thereâs truth to that, but if we can be honest for a moment.. When you're in the thick of it, those words aren't always comforting. Neither is someone telling you to "just pray about it."
Now, don't misunderstand me. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in a God who hears us, who loves us and who is working even when we cannot see it. But sometimes you don't need another Christian catchphrase. Sometimes you need someone to sit beside you in the mess. Someone who doesn't feel the need to explain away your pain or turn every struggle into a lesson before you've even had a chance to catch your breath. Sometimes you just need someone to say, "I know this is hard. I'm here."
I think sometimes as Christians, we feel this pressure to always have the right perspective. To find the blessing in every hardship. To immediately recognize the lesson God is teaching us.
And while I absolutely believe God can bring beauty from ashes, I also believe we're allowed to acknowledge that the fire hurts. We're allowed to grieve the things that didn't work out. We're allowed to be disappointed. We're allowed to be tired. Faith doesn't mean we never struggle. It means we keep reaching for God even when we do.
And that's part of why I've been so quiet here lately. I haven't had much to say. When so much of what you do revolves around encouraging others, sharing your faith and finding the good in things, it's hard to know what to say when you're struggling to find those things yourself.
Sometimes it's hard to be optimistic. It's hard to be motivational. It's hard to pour into others when you feel like you're running on empty. And I don't want to show up here pretending that everything is wonderful when, quite frankly, some days it isn't.
That doesn't mean I've lost my faith or that I've given up. It just means I'm human, walking through a season I haven't quite figured out yet. I will never stop believing in what God can do, sometimes itâs just hard to see what He's doing right now.
I don't have some incredible breakthrough to share or a beautiful ending where everything suddenly makes sense. I'm still in the middle of it, learning to trust God even when things look different than I imagined. But my heart for what I do hasn't changed. I still believe in the purpose behind this little barn and the people who walk through it. I'm just learning that sometimes faithfulness looks a little quieter. Sometimes it's not about doing more, accomplishing more, or having something inspirational to say. Sometimes it's simply showing up and trusting God with what you can't control.
If you're walking through a difficult season too, I hope you know you're not alone. You don't have to pretend it's easy or turn your struggles into an inspirational testimony before you're ready. Sometimes showing up, even with trembling hands and a tired heart, is an act of faith all by itself. The weapons may have formed and the battle may feel overwhelming, but that doesn't mean the enemy has won â¤ď¸.
