12/09/2022
Dogs that come from shelters or "bad situations" are the most most wired to be worked and feel normal. Take a 5 year old for example. I have to be careful when I make comparisons to small children because I think it's the biggest mistake we've made with our dogs, treating them like human children. That being said, a 5 year old needs adequate love and "SAFETY". They also need structure and a foundation of what's acceptable behavior. If they do not act within those guidelines they are given correction, redirection, or are managed so certain behaviors are not an option. Example, your dog chews up your shoes when you leave the house? Crate th dog or remove the shoes. That's management. Now back to the situation of rescues. Ask yourself what a 5 or 6 year old with a physical handicap or a mental shortcoming wants out of life? TO FEEL AS NORMAL AS POSSIBLE. TO BE TREATED LIKE THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE ELSE. THAT THEY ARE CAPABLE. THAT THEIR DISADVANTAGES DO NOT HOLD THEM BACK. This is how you should view your rescues. You gave them shelter, you gave them love, you saved them from their dire situation. Now work them like they were bred for. They were born with instincts to work and have purpose. That purpose, and I say this with love, was not to make you feel like a virtuous dog owner. Quit making excuses for them, they love leadership. Take the reigns and rewrite both of your futures with it. They will thrive off of you.
While I get the attraction of the “rescue” story, the real question should be: is the story helpful to the dog? Will making a dog into a perpetual victim and a perpetual receptacle for pity improve their ability to healthily navigate their world; will it improve your ability to properly lead them?
Has viewing anything or anyone in this light ever been helpful? Of course not. It disables the one being labeled the victim, AND it disables the one doing the labeling.
What if instead of the sad, emotionally appealing story we’ve told ourselves (and others) we tell a story that our dogs are simply who they are and what they are, and are works in progress—regardless what state they’re currently in, and regardless their history…known or guessed.
What if instead of only seeing broken dogs—in need of only love, nurturing, and protecting—we see resilient, strong, and capable dogs? Dogs who could be so much more if only allowed, and if challenged to grow.
Might that simple switch in thinking create a profound impact on their ultimate outcome? You bet.
To be honest, it’s why good dog trainers are consistently able to help dogs with difficult pasts, or difficult genetic deals. While of course they’ll feel for the dogs, they won’t allow their emotions to override the work—the guidance, the rules, the accountability, the appropriate pushing—that needs to be done to actually help. This connected but healthily detached mindset is what so many well-meaning owners struggle with, and why so many of them with messy dogs only end up with dogs who become far messier.
It need not be the case. Not if you’re willing to not fall into the trap of living a story that somehow feeds your desire to nurture that which is broken—and thus requires it to remain in that state. And if you’re willing to let go of the attention that the sad story never fails to elicit.
In more direct language, if you’re telling a sob story about your dog—to yourself or anyone else—true or not, that story isn’t for your dog, it’s for you. And only someone deeply enveloped in delusion or dysfunction would deny the power of the stories we tell to create the realities we, and our dogs live.
What story are you telling?
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PS, thanks to Be The Boss Dog Training for creating this cool graphic! 🙏
