06/14/2026
Smart woman, Dr Shelley Appleton Calm Willing Confident Horses 💚💚💚
Horses Don't Measure Sacrifice 😒
One of the hardest things about horse ownership is accepting that your horse doesn't know how much you care.
They don't know how many hours you work to afford them.
They don't know how much money you've spent trying to help them.
They don't know about the holidays you've skipped, the sacrifices you've made, the sleepless nights you've spent worrying, or the countless hours you've devoted to researching, learning, and trying to do the very best by them.
And that's hard.😕
Because those sacrifices are real.
Most horse owners don't simply own horses. They build their lives around them.
So when a horse is anxious, difficult, reactive, unwilling, or struggling despite all that effort, it's easy to find yourself thinking:
*"Surely they should know I'm trying."*
But horses don't measure sacrifice.
They don't evaluate effort.
They don't judge intention.
They respond to how they feel.
As herd dynamic expert Kerry Thomas says:
> "A horse wants harmony with their environment and contentment with their peers."
So when a horse isn't coping, the question isn't whether they know how much you care.
The question is whether they feel secure in their environment (that includes both their internal and external environments) and content in their relationships, including the one they have with you.
My friend and collaborator Isabelle Chandler and I often talk about another confronting idea.
We don't spend much time wondering whether horses love us.
The truth is, we don't know what love means to a horse.
What we do know is that horses can learn to trust us.
And trust leaves evidence.
You see it in a horse that approaches willingly. A horse that tries when things are difficult. A horse that looks to you when they're uncertain. A horse that finds confidence and security in your presence.
To us - that is the best. ❤
They may never know how much you've sacrificed for them.
But they can learn to trust you.
And perhaps that's enough.
Because the meaning we find in horses was never really about being loved back in the way humans love. It comes from sharing our lives with them. From learning, growing, caring, trying, and becoming better because they are in our world.
Horses connect us to something bigger than ourselves. To nature. To the seasons. To the earth beneath our feet. To responsibility, humility, and wonder.
For me, horses make me feel alive.
And if, through all our efforts, we can help a horse feel safe enough to trust us, then perhaps that is one of the most meaningful relationships we can hope to build.
Collectable Advice 231/365. Hit SHARE or SAVE. Please no copy and pasting.🙏
