10/17/2026
🎃🐾 SPOOKY SATURDAY: STAFF PERFORMANCE REVIEWS 🐾🎃
Following yesterday’s accusations from the cats, the dogs have stepped forward to defend the Animal House staff.
Their official statement:
“WE LOVE THEM SO MUCH WE CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT THE QUESTION WAS.” 😂
The dogs’ findings:
⭐ They summon food from a bag. Every day. Actual sorcery.
⭐ They throw a ball and somehow KNOW where it went. All-knowing. Incredible.
⭐ They say our names. OUR NAMES. Out of all the dogs in the world, they know US. We may faint.
⭐ They say “Who’s a good dog?” and then reveal that it’s US. Every time. Still the greatest news we’ve ever received.
⭐ They leave the room and COME BACK. We witnessed a miracle 14 times before lunch.
⭐ Sometimes they have treats in their pockets. We don’t know how you become this powerful, but we will follow them anywhere.
Overall rating: 900 million stars. Would worship again.
The cats attempted to present evidence against the staff, but a human said “Hi, buddy!” and the entire jury lost control of its butt.
The hearing has been postponed until everyone stops wagging.
The cats are furious. The dogs are starting a fan club. 👻🐾😂