06/19/2026
The blessing and the curse to horsemanship…
The blessing of horses, is the lessons they teach us. ♥️
The curse to horses, is the lessons they teach us 😂
I’ve trained horses professionally for a couple decades now. Every horse has taught me something. Some lessons were inspiring and some painful. Never the less, if you need someone to coach you on evolving as a human… work with horses. 🤪
I remember seeing an ad for a program that promised a better relationship with horses. The guy would sit in the field and the horses would lay down and sleep around him. I thought it was BS so I signed up to see what sort of hog wash they were selling.
They weren’t selling BS at all, they were teaching humans how to relax, be present and connect with horses through authentic peace.
For months, I practiced. I sat in the pen, did the exercise and I’d fall asleep. It was so frustrating to not be good at it. I’d wake up with a horse standing over me. 😬
Then one day, I was in the zone. Time was irrelevant. I sat in the middle of the pen and my mare walked over and laid down right next to me. My ego quickly jumped back in my head and my thoughts quickly shifted to a state of “I won!” Without moving or saying a word, the mare felt the shift, got up and walked to the gate.
It was soul crushing. I learned how sensitive horses are that day. It just about ruined my desire to train horses for the public anymore. It was no wonder why a horse would be good for me, then unravel with certain owners… Then I’d get blamed for not “fixing” their problem. But when I’d do it, there wasn’t a problem 🤔
Which brings me to my point…
Horses will unconsciously challenge the people who handle them. Each horse has a personality and presence to them. Some are higher up in the herd and others are not. When things click, you’ll have a magical journey. But when they don’t, you’ll struggle. Often blaming the horse for his resistance or “small brain”.
But what I’ve found, horses behave accordingly. Some need you to learn to relax, slow down, be patient and find that neutral. Others need you find your inner masculine energy that holds them accountable. With all things in between.
I love mares and I can typically mesh with a mare, even a difficult one. But, I tend to be a sensitive and empathetic person. Mares tend to like that. Geldings, they’re harder for me, they call on me to be more black and white, drop the emotional surveying.
In order to help other types of horses, I’ve had to step outside my comfort and become “someone else”. Meaning, become the energy that clicks with that particular horse. This is where I feel people get defeated or give up on a horse. Changing who they are is very uncomfortable and can tap into some deep feelings.
The other night, I felt stuck with a horse. He’s “cow bred” and naturally looks and reacts to everything. I knew that my feelings of frustration meant that I needed to dig in and learn how I needed to shift. It’s a “me” weakness. My husband isn’t a horse trainer, he’s not book smart on horse training but he’s handy enough with a horse. I handed him the horse and said just work with him and tell me what you feel. He did and he came back and said he’s either leaning on me or pulling away. He basically said I needed to step up my ability to be leader, be black and white and stop over analyzing. The horse shifted after about 10 minutes of a different energy/approach. He stopped looking off and being silly.
I really valued the lesson. Uncomfortable but true. My husband just loved the fact that he could tell me what to do 😝
If you aren’t into horses for the journey of evolution, by all means, sell the horse you don’t mesh with. There is no shame in it. The lesson though, it’s not a horse problem… it’s a disconnect between the 2 of you. It takes some evolution to bridge the gaps.
I’ll leave you with this…
Distracted, spooky, pushy horses, need you to be a better leader. Black and white, fair but firm boundaries.
Fearful horses need you to be calm, assertiveness and patient.
Bored horses, need a challenge, stop drilling on mediocre.
Horses who anticipate, need you to change your habits.
Basically, evolving as a horseman, is learning how to connect with as many horses as possible and doing that means becoming the better version of yourself. Horses will show us our weaknesses through disconnect. The horse is rarely the problem, they’re simply the mirror. 😉
