06/20/2026
📱⭐ SHELTER YELP REVIEWS: Friday Night Edition ⭐📱
It’s 8:00 PM on a Friday. The adoption center is closed, the evening treats have been passed out, and the dogs have officially taken to the internet to leave their weekly reviews of our facility.
Here are some of tonight's top-rated (and not-so-top-rated) submissions, complete with responses from our staff:
⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Excellent room service, but terrible scheduling." "The accommodations are very cozy and the human named John gives top-tier head scritches. However, management has a strict 'only two dinners' policy, which is a human rights violation because I clearly explained to them that I have never eaten before in my entire life. Will stay again, but under protest." — Raider, 5/5 stars for blankets, 1/5 stars for portion sizes.
🗣️ Response from Management: Hi Raider. We appreciate your feedback. However, our security footage clearly shows you receiving breakfast, dinner, three peanut butter Kongs, and half of a volunteer's turkey sandwich that you stole off a desk at 1:15 PM. You are not wasting away. We will not be adjusting the dinner schedule. See you in five minutes for your bedtime treat.
⭐⭐⭐ "Good staff, but the laps are too small." "I am a very petite, delicate flower. Today, I gracefully attempted to sit directly on a volunteer's chest to offer my premium cuddles, and was told, 'Sam, please, I cannot breathe.' I find this lack of dedication to snuggling highly offensive. Also, the hallway is too narrow for my maximum-speed zoomies. Please renovate." — Sam
🗣️ Response from Management: Hi Sam. You are a 70-pound muscle torpedo. When you launch yourself into a lap, it registers on the local Richter scale. We absolutely love your cuddles, but human ribs can only take so much blunt force trauma. We will not be knocking down the shelter walls to accommodate your zoomies, but we will gladly take you out to the big yard tomorrow. P.S. Please stop weaponizing your tail against our shins.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Highly recommend the indoor pool." "I absolutely love the luxury water features here. I successfully flipped my water bowl upside down within three minutes of arriving to create a gorgeous splash pad in my room. The staff looked exhausted when they came to clean it up, which means my interior decorating skills are truly moving them to tears." — Every Husky Ever
🗣️ Response from Management: We are begging you to stop. The interior decorating is not moving us to tears of joy, they are just actual tears. Our mop budget is completely depleted. Please, just drink the water. Sincerely, the exhausted humans holding the towels.
⭐ "0/10. UNACCEPTABLE SECURITY BREACH." "Today, a loud, terrifying mechanical beast invaded the hallway. The staff called it a 'vacuum cleaner,' but I know a dragon when I hear one. I bravely protected the entire facility by barking at the top of my lungs for 20 straight minutes. Instead of a medal, they gave me a single piece of cheese and told me to 'chill.' Unprofessional." — Anonymous Mixed Breed
🗣️ Response from Management: Dear Anonymous (we know this is you, Chupi). The "mechanical beast" was simply cleaning up the stuffing from the plush squeaky squirrel you brutally disemboweled this morning. Furthermore, the single piece of cheese was not a medal of valor; it was a bribe to stop you from vibrating at a frequency that was upsetting the other dogs. We will try to offer two pieces of cheese next time to better meet your expectations.
Want to skip the review process and just meet the critics? We’re open Tuesday through Saturday 10 to 3 for adoptions! Come find your new best friend.
👇 If your pet could leave a Yelp review of your house tonight, what would it say? Drop their star rating and review in the comments! 👇
