Sammy's Poop Patrol

10/10/2026

💩 COMING SOON: A FUTURE P**PER SCOOPER! 💩

Big boss Sammy is officially on the lookout for a trainee, and we’ve got a brand-new recruit on the way. This precious little turd is scheduled to drop around May 25th! 👶🍼

Prepare your noses, because the "P**p Patrol" is about to get a whole lot busier. We can't wait to meet our newest little stinker! ❤️

**ppatrol **perScooper

10/10/2026

💩 P**P PILING UP? LET'S FIX THAT! 🐾 Get your one-time yard cleanup booked before October 19th, when the price increases to $29! Message Sammy’s P**p Patrol and let us take the crap off your hands—literally! 😂

🌐 Sammysp**ppatrol.com
☎️ (513) 202-3425

09/26/2026

💩 Another Mason yard officially p**p-free! 🐾

At Sammy’s P**p Patrol, we stand behind our Satisfaction & Shoe-Safe Guarantee*. 👟

If we miss an obvious p**p landmine, we’ll make it right—FREE. Just text us a picture and we’ll come back and get it.

You enjoy the yard. We’ll handle the crap. 💩

*Applies to reasonably visible and accessible waste. Snow, excessive leaves, debris, overgrowth, or other conditions that prevent reasonable visibility may limit the guarantee.

09/23/2026

I genuinely LOVE being a p**p scooper. 💩😂 But probably not for the reasons you’d expect.

Looking back, my whole life has been filled with weird little synchronicities that somehow kept pointing me toward exactly where I am now—and apparently that destination involved a blue vest, a p**p hat, and talking to strangers about dog crap. 🤷‍♂️

Hopefully this weekend, I’ll be filming the very first episode of P**P PSYCHOLOGY. 🧠💩

Think a slightly more unhinged Mr. Rogers, mixed with real-life lessons, humor, humility, and a little solution-focused wisdom—all wrapped in the ridiculousness of talking about p**p.

Because sometimes the world doesn’t need another person telling you what’s wrong with it.

Sometimes it just needs somebody to say, “Yeah… life’s messy. Now let’s figure out what we can do about it.”

Stay tuned. The p**p is coming. 😂💩

09/21/2026

🚨 YOUR DOG ISN’T GOING TO PICK IT UP. BUT I WILL.

I’ve extended the FREE Initial Clean through October 17th! 🍂💩

If your backyard has slowly turned into a minefield of “I’ll get to it later,” consider this your intervention. 😂

Let Sammy’s P**p Patrol take one crappy chore off your plate before fall turns into winter and those hidden surprises get buried under snow.

First clean is FREE when you sign up for recurring service. That means less p**p, less stress, and more time enjoying your yard without playing “Where Did I Step?” every time you walk outside.

⏰ Offer ends October 17th.
🌐 Get a FREE quote and sign up at sammysp**ppatrol.com or
📲 Call/message me at (513) 202-3425

Act fast before the p**p -and the savings- disappear!

09/18/2026

Just finished another yard clean! 💩 Life gets busy—work, kids, errands, dinner, and about 47 other things—so sometimes the backyard cleanup gets pushed to the bottom of the list. That’s where Sammy’s P**p Patrol comes in. Your dog handles the business, I handle the aftermath. 😂 I’ll scoop it, bag it, and leave you with a cleaner, fresher, more shoe-safe yard—because you’ve already got enough on your plate without adding a backyard minefield to the list. 🐾 Ready to reclaim your yard? Send Sammy’s P**p Patrol a message today and let me take the dirty work off your hands!

Free quote!! 👉 sammysp**ppatrol.com
👉 Text or call @ 513-202-3425

07/01/2026

🇺🇸 Sammy's P**p Patrol is taking a brief patriotic pause! 🇺🇸

From July 3rd through July 6th, we're trading p**p scoops for burgers, fireworks, and making sure no one mistakes the backyard for a minefield. 💩🎆 We'll be back on July 7th, refreshed, recharged, and ready to declare independence from every pile in your yard. Have a safe, happy, and p**p-free Fourth of July weekend!

05/18/2026

Whataburger or Waffle House? Whose the toughest restaurant of them all? 😁

04/13/2026

Your dog’s out here dropping “surprises” like it’s a full-time job… and somehow YOU got promoted to cleanup crew. 😅

Plot twist: You can quit!!

Contact Sammy’s P**p Patrol and reclaim your yard, your time, and your dignity. 💩🚫

👉 Initial Clean is FREE!*
👉20% discount for the first 2 months of service when you enter the code SAMMYSAVES20 online!*

🌐 sammysp**ppatrol.com 📱 (513) 202-3425

P.S. What are you waiting for?! 🤷

*Current promotions require a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly subscription plan. Offers are good through 05/31/26 and valid for new customers only.

Professional dog waste removal in Mason, Ohio. Enjoy a clean yard with weekly or bi-weekly service and no contracts. Get your free estimate today!

04/09/2026

Time is money—so why waste either stepping in surprises? 😅 Take advantage of our Spring Sales Event and save both while we handle the dirty work!

Grab your FREE estimate today:
🌐 sammysp**ppatrol.com
📱 (513) 202-3425