09/25/2026
Look, I love ALL my dogs. But if I had to choose a favorite breed?
The Potato.
Official Breed Standard: The Potato
Group: Non-Sporting. Extremely Non-Sporting.
General Appearance:
Low to the ground in spirit, regardless of actual height. Substantial of body. Soft of expression. Should give the overall impression that getting up is technically possible, but unlikely.
Temperament:
Affectionate, food-motivated, agreeable, and deeply committed to conserving energy. May demonstrate brief bursts of athleticism when snacks are involved.
Varieties:
• Couch Potato — most commonly found horizontal
• Chunky Potato — sturdy, substantial, built like a footstool
• Sweet Potato — exceptionally friendly; no thoughts, only love
• Tator Tot — compact but surprisingly dense
• Hot Potato — cannot be held when excited
• Mashed Potato — becomes completely boneless when carried
Acceptable Colors:
Baked, Golden, French Fried, Hash Brown, Russet, Sweet Potato, Au Gratin, and Loaded.
Gait:
Reluctant. Efficient when traveling toward food. Otherwise optional.
Faults:
Excessive ambition. Not food motivated. "Agility"
Disqualification:
None. All Potatoes are excellent Potatoes.
Good Golly recognizes and celebrates Potatoes of all shapes, sizes, colors, and questionable structural integrity.
See below: WRIGLEY!
He's a perfect representation of the breed standard. Travels with snacks.
And lucky for EVERYONE Potatoes can be always be found at most rescues and shelters.