10/22/2026
🚨 MANAGEMENT UPDATE 🚨
After an extensive search, countless interviews, and absolutely zero background checks, we've officially promoted Stetson to Manager of Operations.
As a dedicated dachshund, Stetson specializes in:
• Monitoring treat inventory
• Inspecting dropped crumbs
• Enforcing daily nap quotas
• Looking adorable while doing absolutely no work
In his first hour on the job, he gave himself a raise, approved unlimited snacks, and scheduled a mandatory company meeting to discuss who is, in fact, the goodest boy. (He voted himself)
We're excited to see where his leadership takes us... although based on his search history, it's mostly the treat cabinet. 🐾💻😂🦴