09/09/2026
I’ve said for years in animal welfare that dogs are here to teach us something. I met Midas in 2012 at KC Pet Project. He was the last dog left on a euthanasia list that day. I had never met him, but I walked back to see him, called Rick, & somehow Midas came home with us. We worked through his reactivity & eventually found him a home. Then in July 2017, I opened an email about an emaciated black & white dog found in the country. The picture stopped me. It looked like Midas. Rick said, “Go get him.” Three hours later I arrived with a microchip scanner. Midas should have weighed about 60 pounds. He weighed 30. I said his name & he knew me. I scanned him anyway. It was Midas. This time he was staying. Three months later Rick was killed. Midas had barely made it home before my life blew apart. He became the dog who got me through losing my husband. If I woke up crying, he was there. I used to dance with him & sing Harvest Moon to him. After he died, I couldn’t listen to it.
Looking back, I can see how much shame gets tangled into grief. There were years after Rick died when I drank too much, lived in despair & was surviving more than living. Sometimes I wonder if I leaned on Midas too much while I was drowning in what I needed. He never seemed to keep score. He just stayed. On February 15, 2024, I let him go after bone cancer had taken too much from him. I wanted an in-home euthanasia to be peaceful, but it was traumatic. The vet was rushed, I wasn’t ready, the line failed, there was blood & he had to go outside for more euthasol after it had already started. For a long time I couldn’t separate the way Midas died from the life Midas lived. Yesterday I finally looked at his pictures & videos. Really looked. His body was tired. He had a fracture from the cancer. I finally understood that keeping him here longer would have been for me, not for him. Maybe that was Midas’s last lesson. There can be shame in grief, regret & things we wish we had done differently. But maybe healing is finally being able to look back without only seeing the worst parts. I thought I saved Midas. Turns out, he carried me home.
