01/15/2019
If you’re thinking about becoming a dog pawrent, i totally urge you to!
However, if you choose to bring home a Great Dane, here’s a few tips that not even months of research could teach you:
1. You’re not “opening your home up” to a Dane....... you’re actually handing over the entire house, keys, deed, and all things inside. Because....
2. Danes will sit WHEREVER and ON whatever they want. Oh ..... you think you can move them??? Think again because ........
3. Danes are very stubborn and *dramatic*.
So for giggles, say you try to move said Dane from your spouses head (yep, their favorite seat is the head of everyone else who lives in *their* house). This is what will happen: they’ll look at you with their big, droopy eyes, realize what you want them to do, then flop themselves down in a way that no toddler could even compete! But that’s okay because......
4. Danes are SO CLUMSY. So he’ll probably fall off the couch after flopping himself down and you’ll all laugh because it’s actually quite comical. Your Dane will see everyone laughing at him and either
5a. Channel his inner toddler and stomp his ginormous paws around as he walks away from y’all or
5b. Realize he’s cute and funny and jump back up to cuddle with you. But beware because.....
6. Danes SLEEP FOREVER. !!! (And again, you can’t move them, so i hope you’re not trapped beneath them when you’re in a hurry!)
7. When your Dane wakes up, he’ll be hungry (they’re always hungry & thirsty) so he’s going to eat 72 pounds of food and a lake full of water. But don’t worry, because ......
8. Danes have a very fast metabolism, meaning almost immediately (it seems) he’ll be at the door ringing to go out. This therefore leads to.....
9. You standing outside for 56 hours while he picks a place to p**p while he spins in a zillion circles, still not pleased with the place of his choosing.
But overall, the most important thing to know is:
10. Danes are the very biggest baby you could ever ask to be a parent to. Their humongous head and paws are unmatched to their even larger-than-life hearts. They’ll love you even when you’re angry that, for the 89th time today, they’re conveniently exactly where your feet are trying to walk. And they’ll try to make it all better when, for the 57th time today, their tails of steel have wacked your face like a baseball & bat.
So, that’s my guide of things to know so you too can survive (and absolutely love) being a Dane parent.
-Stolen from a fellow Dane parent.
