02/12/2026
I dont spend much time on my farm social media. The last 5 years, my husband and I have put blood, sweat, and more tears than I can count into our little piece of heaven and at times sometimes hell.
Theres a lot I wish I would have been told before buying a farm, especially when the bills became my own. Between feed, hay, loss of small animals and a horse, MUD lots of mud, ice, injury, and struggle.
If anything, the farm both built and broke me. It broke me down to the smallest version of myself, to rock bottom where I wasnt sure I would come back up. It made me question every dream I had as a child of being a horse trainer and the books I read and fantasized about in the Kentucky Bluegrass. Stories of success, grind, dreams. Although i've found some of that, i've also found tension, greed, and conflict.
It's hard when you spend most of your time trying to find the next paycheck, support your horses, make renovations, and all at costs that are astronomical for anyone much less someone in their late 20's, early 30's, especially when you are not coming from a wealthy background.
So for now, I have to remember that although my farm is mud and its not quite where I want it to be (an arena would be nice so I could actually ride my horses for more than 4 months of the year), but i have to remember that the farm that broke me is also building me.
Ive learned so much about my horses that I would have never noticed when they were boarded. Ive learned who they are, what they like, what routines they need, and things that upset them.
In the midst of all of the chaos, I have to remember one step at a time and the other day I was reminded that even though the farm isnt done and may never be, I need to start enjoying what we have and can afford in this stage of our life. So to remind me of that, I finally "moved" into my barn and started enjoying it by putting up a little pink disco ball that makes me happy and reminds me just how far we've come at such a young age.
The dream is a bigger farm, a training program, sales OTTBs by the dozen, but for now, the barn has come so far, we've learned to manage, and i'm grateful. 🎊 Grateful I don't have to pay board, grateful I get to see my horses daily, grateful Preacher is 20 this year and he lives in my backyard, grateful I get to teach off property at multiple locations, and grateful I have other opportunities to keep training while I figure out the next steps.
To the year of the horse. I hope its a good one. 🐎
