12/26/2021
What does it mean to you to own a working dog, and to be specific, a pointing breed?
Does it mean ribbons in the field and ring, does it mean bragging rights at your sporting club, or can it mean that you , instead of your dog, are broken down to pieces and rebuilt? Does it mean finding the missing pieces and putting yourself back together again? Does it mean asking more of yourself than your dog?
To me, it means exposing my soul, breaking down, falling to my knees and being strong enough to look up into their brown eyes, humbled and allowing THEM to rebuild me instead of the other way around.
It is realizing that until you understand yourself and committ, you cannot ask a dog to do the same.
Before Christmas, due to an online training class thanks to the lawyer I work for, not even remotely related to dogs, I learned something about myself that hurt, shocked and brought me to my knees. And in that moment, after I thanked my boss and understood myself a little bit more, I went home and begged my dogs for forgiveness .
And, I stepped through a doorway I previously ignored.
I shared that insight with my trainer too. Because I am lucky and I can... from sharing, he will demand more from me instead of my dogs.
On December 16, 2020, Tina's last pup was born OUTSIDE during a blizzard. When that pup landed in my hand, a voice whispered, "This is the one."
I thought I knew why, and for a year I doubted my choice. I cried, too, with regret.
But, my trainer, my husband and several fellow NAVHDA members kept me from loosing my temper, and simply loosing any hope.
And today, because I finally found another piece of what it means to be me, my dogs gifted me a great training day, with my husband at my side. Finding another piece of your soul is the greatest gift.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Thank you to those who gave me strength when I needed it most.
Video: Coyote Hill Wings off the Sierra (AFC/AKC FC Wolf Plain Brook Captain Jack x GRCH Coyotehill Deerhaven Kaia's Renegade Aria JH)