06/08/2026
Want to know the most important lesson I learned at horse camp? It wasn’t about horses, but it does apply to dog training.
As a kid, summer included a week of camp life complete with campfires, kayaks, crafts, and most importantly, horses. One year I had a counselor who used the “three put-ups” rule. Every time you said something negative about yourself, someone else, or even an activity, you had to say three positive things.
It’s a lovely practice in kindness, and there’s real science behind it too. Every time you practice noticing the positive, you’re strengthening those neural pathways. You’re building confidence and resilience. You’re building a habit. The more you look for what’s going right, the more natural it becomes. The three put-ups rule means you’re walking the positive, confident path up to three times more often than the one that focuses on the negative, tears people down, and fuels stress and anxiety.
So what does this have to do with your dog? Let’s start with what most of us already do well.
It’s really easy to tell your dog no, stop, don’t, cut it out, leave it, enough. There are so many ways to communicate “I don’t like that choice,” and we tend to do it fast. Not because we’re trying to be mean, but because a behavior with an undesirable consequence happens and we react. Our timing on that kind of feedback is pretty sharp, actually. It comes quick and it’s usually very clear.
What if we gave clear, immediate positive feedback just as often? Or more? Your dog needs to know the exact moment you are delighted with their behavior. Not just in your words, but in your tone and the look on your face. That delight needs to be felt by both of you. Things like good dog!, nice job!, way to go!, look at you!, I love that choice!, thank you! If you really want to drive it home, follow it up with additional reinforcement. A treat, petting, a quick game. This isn’t just about reinforcement though, it’s about building your dog up. Possible side effects include increased confidence, willingness to try new things, and a higher frequency of behaviors you love!
Here’s what I want for you and your dog: less stress, more confidence, and a shift toward behavior you can both feel good about.
So the next time you catch yourself correcting your dog, see if you can also find three moments in the day to tell them what they’re doing right. Would that shift things? Probably. Research says it’s possible and probable. No guarantees, but the odds are in your favor.
Try it this week, with your dog, with the people in your life, with yourself. See what happens. Let me know how it goes!
P.S. This doesn’t mean your dog gets to do whatever they want. Structure, safety, and boundaries matter, but the communication around them doesn’t have to be harsh or sugar coated to be kind, clear, and effective. That’s a whole different conversation.
