03/20/2026
Let's Have a Tea Party!
If your dog is doing something wrong...say no, but then ask him to do something right. The best illustration is when I was asked one Sunday to help with the 2 and 3 year olds at my church. I normally work with the elementary kids so this was new territory. The kids started off playing nicely, but soon began exhibiting a not-so-good behavior: hitting each other.
"No, no," I would say, pleasantly but firmly, "no hitting please!" The children put their arms down and stopped. Good! But did it really work long-term? Soon the hitting started again. I repeated, a little more firmly, "No hitting, please." Again they stopped the hitting but soon it started again!
It's sinking in that just telling them to stop is not enough. And I'm getting a little frustrated. Then the light bulb switches on. "Let's have a teaparty!" The kids were all in, they promptly clustered around the low table, we got out tiny dishes and had a fun party. The best part for me was no more kids hitting the rest of class 🙂
Reflecting, I realized the same principle applies to dogs when they misbehave. Just saying no repeatedly, raising your voice, continuing to correct will probably not work in the long run. Instead, pause and think....Replace the behavior with something positive. There are many replacement behaviors that do nicely for dogs. Maybe not a teaparty, but there are lots of effective ways to interrupt a misbehavior. It can even be a small job to do. Work is play for many dogs. Now you can praise instead of being the negative nag. It takes thought and time, but "teaparties" work.
