08/04/2026
I remember every one of these pictures. I may forget registered names, students' names, or Lord knows, their parents' names... but I never forget the horses or the moments.
Sandy didn't have to write "under the direction of Marlena," but she did. I know she understands how much something as simple as that means to me. Sometimes all you want is for someone ( someone admired and I wanted to do well for because ~ it was her Barn she opened up to me) to acknowledge that maybe you did okay.
I looked up to Sandy for years before I ever worked beside her. I don't think she always realized that. I spent a lot of years just hoping she'd say, "You did a good job." I think she probably thought my confidence was through the roof because I was always telling her what needed cleaned, fixed, or done differently.
😂
The truth was exactly the opposite. I was just trying my best to be worthy of the
opportunity she gave me when she opened her barn and trusted me with the riding program.
Somewhere along the way, something changed. The horses felt different. The riders felt different. I stopped looking for reassurance and just started teaching from my heart. I don't know if anyone else noticed it, but I did, the horses did....
Stepping away has been harder than I ever expected. Losing Sox changed me, and so did the students, the horses, and every family that walked through those barn doors.
The reality is, I couldn't make a living doing it the same way anymore. What was once a good business, for a lot of reasonsmost of them outside my control... became something I was constantly trying to keep afloat.
That wasn't fair to my husband, family, or myself.
I tried. We did fundraisers, lowered lesson prices, offered specials, changed schedules... I tried just about everything I could think of.
At the same time, I found myself wanting something deeper with the horses and the students than the way things were structured allowed.
My heart had changed
I actually miss hearing "MAR!" (or whatever one-syllable version people came up with 😂). I think anyway LOL ...
I miss the run to me hugs before lessons, the few parents who always knew when needes a hug ... when everyone else got it backwards.
But I also know where my heart is leading me now. Helping people through the hardest day they'll ever have with a horse feels just as important as teaching them to ride one.
Thank you, Sandy, for those words. From someone who's usually the one writing about everyone else, it meant more than you'll probably ever know.
🐴🤎 And then... after I made it through all the pictures, I realized you'd saved him for last.
That was the icing on an already bittersweet cake. 💙
There are a few students who I've set goals with, don't think I don't think about you every single day. We're not done. Please give me the Grace that I will allow you on your hard days, if I'm anything
I'm loyal, and I keep my word ~
