Transformative Horsemanship

01/16/2026

Some precious moments as of late.

Nemeses becoming playmates or, at least, finding peace.

[The context not pictured is that Saber used to aggressively defend his resources from both Ash (the appy) and Ban (the chestnut he is eating with). Both moments shown here display immense shifts in herd dynamics. To be able to share, without defending, is a huge sign of growing sense of safety and emotional maturity. To play is perhaps even a step beyond.]

Resting and reclaiming sunlight in the soft late mornings of winter. Together.

[the context not pictured here are all the moments of Cedar rushing to return to her herd, with fear and even desperation. For us, right now, its less about "leaving the herd" as a signal of healed separation anxiety, but about being-together-feeling-connected (ie i am your herd too) no matter where we are.]

The lessons to be garnered sing: heres the tender, early offerings of those hard winterin' times. Not like sprouts in the springtime. Its like the growth that settles in you, pulling from who you already are, but struggled to know for a little while there.

Thanks for the cedar pic and the Bam + Saber eating together pic :)

12/27/2025

love these two so much!
It occurs to me over and over again that what I seek to cultivate in my work with clients and horses is peace.

Don't take it as toxic positivity or glossing over feelings.

I'm talking about the real deep peace. The kind that comes from knowing each other. From engaging as fully as possible. The peace that comes from the depth of being together.

It makes me think of how there can be dissonance in music, but it can still be a harmony.
Cedar has been nursing an abscess this week. Historically, when I have worked in more traditional horsemanship, pain is something that you treat and rest. I don't remember giving horses more attention than grooming and basic care when they were in pain. If they couldn't be ridden, what could you possibly do with them?

My horsemanship now encompasses so much more than that. Sure, there are times when rest and basic care are all that is needed. But, I would say that is actually only in pretty severe cases.

But there is so much more available for the "broken" horse, whether it is a permanent or temporary "broken"-ness.

It wasn't about training today as much as exploring the relationship. Seeking comfort among pain. Listening to pain as a guide for the shape of our time together. We even played, gently, in small movements.

Olive and Fizz, Cedar's best friends in the herd, came and co-regulated with her and us. Cedar rested in deep co-regulation with just Leslie, her son, and I.

We did energy work. Cedar showed us where she needed care and where she needed space.

In the moment pictured here, she showed Leslie, with great affection, how she could rub tension from her jaw, ears, and around her eyes. Coming to what I would call a form of embrace in the end.
Pain is a big part of Cedar and I's story(s). Emotional, physical, and mental. Inter- and intra-personal.

She has asked those around her to honor her pain. And in that, has created these special, intimate opportunities to spend time in her most tender places, both on her body and in our connections.
I hope, so deeply, that the our story(s) can be an emblem of possibility for relational movement beyond riding. ❤️

12/16/2025

Long time no post :) hello. Ready to be back on the surface again.
and I had a lesson with Cedar yesterday.

Something that clarified for me: "Cedar is very insistent on where we need to be. Everytime." Her disabilities and capacity guides us, it does not limit us.

There has been a big fire that was still sending smoke up at the neighbors house.

Cedar insisted that our lesson be about rest and regulation. Our lesson was a mixture of directly tending to her nervous system and also gently guiding some herd dynamics so that she could really settle into her rest.

We had a moment of wonderfully literate communication, from all 3 of us. Leslie and I posed a question to Cedar. Slowly, she acknowledged it. Considered it. Tried it. And then, definitively and gently, she opted out of the question. But NOT out of the connection, beckoning us to meet her elsewhere.

As we worked, the heavy lidded rest she dropped into seemed to bring in more horses. First, Saber. Then Olive and Dakota. Until the entire herd was in a state of rest, either standing or lying down.

This herd is very new. Several of the members having been introduced in the past two months. As far as I know, this rest was a newer phenomenon for this herd.

This work continues to mystify and enliven me. What a special magic runs through these currents.

How precious it is to be able to listen well enough to know where we need to be, together 💖

08/12/2025

such a beautiful photo from a dear friend.

Gosh i just love this horse so much

08/11/2025

I know it's been a while, but I think you might see us re-emerging on social media soon. The hurricane plus June's death really sent things into a domino effect over here. On the horse front, the business is thoroughly simplified + downsized, Penny has long since been sent home, and Cedar is the only horse left under my wing

03/12/2025

Love watchin these two bloom together 💗

02/22/2025

Our dear sweet penny went home today!

One of the biggest changes in the downsizing has been the choice to let go of penny.

We are SO grateful to her family for letting her live with us for a while.

Penny is a tender sweet horse who taught so many of us the preciousness of what is given (and not to take advantage of that) and challenged us (especially .one49 and i ☺️) to see how slow we could really go.

She was one of Junes favorite friends in the time I had June. And i think of her whole herd, as i saw them line up at the fence line to watch her leave.

Theres never enough words when a big shift leads us to the end of a relationship. in this case, it is so wonderful to know she is going back to a wonderful home with people who love her. And we can always visit :)

Anyone got any penny memories or gratitudes to share :)?

02/19/2025

Same. A million times same!

The horses that concern me the most are not the intensely expressive or explosive ones. It's the ones that hold it all in and take the world on their shoulders. It's the ones that freeze instead of flee. It's the ones that internalize their stress.

These horses also tend to be among the most desirable personalities. They tend to be described as "kind", "quiet", and can "take a mistake".

And they often ARE kind, and they do desire to be quiet, and they do absorb the errors of their riders and handlers.

I am the most concerned about these horses because these are the horses that get mistaken for being more broke than they are when in reality they're often not all that broke, they just don't outwardly express their concern as dramatically.

I am the most concerned about these horses because though their capacity for internalizing stress might be larger...it does have a limit.

I am the most concerned about these horses because when they finally reach that limit, the explosions are on par with the undoing of something that's been under pressure for a very long time.

I have seen more than one of these horses get labeled after such an event as "dangerous" or "unpredictable" when in reality the outcome was a slow train that could have been seen coming for miles before it actually caused an accident.

I am the most concerned about these horses because so much of time, the moment we finally start paying attention to a horse is after they've done something we can't ignore.

02/18/2025

Reflections in grief, loss, and resurrection with June 💗
From the week after June passed:

I am suffered into power today. Embodied in the belief that maybe i cannot control everyone and everything around me to avoid the pain of grief. (But that some part of me may dearly want to). I feel every avoidance of grief turn into rage somewhere, displaced + offensive.

But, I refuse to become the unholy rage of misplaced tears. Instead, i weep. And may there be in that a divine transmutation.

Oh holy grief, on your altar i place no sacrifice because to know you is to be cracked + smashed + resurrected ad infinitem.The great sacrifice is living and loving and knowing that nothing can stay. But we do it anyways.

Let us grieve so that we may dream. So that cycles of violence and generational traumas come lay at our feet to be tended to. So that the disarray of pain is not handed off through bad behavior, but held and honored, seen + understood into integration.

Or... something like that 🙃
Some may wonder what this has to do with horsemanship.

In my heart, it is perhaps most the core thing to grapple with. Where our unmanaged emotions funnel into the lives of others, esp those who are dependent on us.

Maybe its not clear to all how crying so that repressed grief doesnt turn into misplaced rage with my horses (and my friends and myself) is part of my horsemanship. But... i wish there was more space for us to talk about this.

When we do not do the work to tend to and support our traumas and intense emotions... it doesnt go away. It usually goes somewhere it doesnt belong, imo.

And on the other side of this... how could relating with our horses feel if we entered into these relationships emotionally resourced, nervous system nourished, and deeply accountable to our behaviors?

I think... its a marvelous way to be with them and ourselves. Its certainly the question i want to be exploring in.

02/14/2025

FUNDRAISER SALE - TACK

this is the big one! i have a LOT of tack for sale! (Saddles are in a separate post). Some of this stuff is lightly used or practically new!

Make an offer! All prices listed are as a reference point, unless otherwise stated. We need it gone ~ get a sweet deal for yourself or donate extra for the fundraiser! Either way.... help us get this stuff moved. DM to coordinate. Pick up only in Asheville or Candler.

****** HALF PADS & SADDLE PADS ******

Thinline fleece half pad. Gently used, in great condition. Bought new for $211.

Exselle 21” Wither Cutout Half Pad. Used, labelled in sharpie on tag. Sells new for $75.

Exselle 19” Wither Cutout Half Pad. Used, labelled in sharpie on tag. Sells new for $75.

Black Smartpak Dressage Pad. Used, cut off keepers, light discoloration. Would part with for $10 OBO

****** GIRTHS ******

48" total saddle fit brown synthetic girth. Barely used. Bought new for $120.

20” Professionals Choice Dressage Girth. Used, with name written in sharpie on the label. Structurally sound. Sells new for ~$70-$100

56” Professionals Choice neoprene black girth. Seems unused. Sells new for ~$95

Ovation 24” Black Fluffy Dressage Girth. Used, in good condition. Sells new for $65.

Brown 40” Nylon girth. No elasticity. Seems new. Would part for $10 OBO

****** STIRRUP LEATHERS & IRONS ******

SOLD - 55” Black Stirrup Leather and Irons (Adult Size). Used, in good condition. $35 OBO

SOLD - Brand New Brown Stirrup Leathers and 5” Stirrup Irons. Irons and leathers sell new for ~$30. Buy separate or together.

****** BRIDLES & HALTERS ******

Milestone Western-Style Pony size bitless side pull bridle. WIth homemade clip on pony reins. Used once. Milestone doesn’t sell this style anymore! Get a quality, barely used product! Bought for $72 ***Out on trial - DM to get in the queue to try if it doesn't sell***

Brown Nylon Western Bridle with Split Reins. Seems to be brand new, unused. ~$30 new.

Dark Brown Rein Extenders. Lightly Used. Sells new ~$20-$25.

Shires Blue Fluffy Cavesson. XFull size. Bought for $30.

Brown English Bridle with rubber reins. Warmblood size. $25 OBO

5” Rubber D Ring. Make an offer.

Dark Brown Braided Leather Reins. Lightly used, in great condition. $20 OBO

Brown English Bridle with braided reins. Measured at Full Size. Seems totally unused. $20 OBO

Horze Draft Size Blanket Halter. Used, extra hole made above factory holes. Would part for $10 OBO

02/13/2025

FUNDRAISER SALE - SADDLES!

Two Thorowgood saddles for sale! Great lesson saddles! Comfy, durable, and the adjustable saddle is nice a find for a lesson or training program.

**SOLD** 18.5" thorowgood adjustable dressage saddle. Currently has the W/XW bar. Gullet system can be purchased separately for the whole set (~$35 online). Broken keeper on the left side. Bought for $750. Make an offer!

16.5" Thorowgood Maxam all purpose saddle. Gullet measured at ~6". Has a keeper missing on the right side. Bought as is for $350 and is in the same condition I bought it in.

02/13/2025

FUNDRAISER SALE - FLY GEAR

Make an offer! We are happy with a sweet deal for you or a sweet deal for our fundraiser for us. We need this stuff gone! DM to order. Pick up only in Asheville or Candler.

Oversize SmartPak Fitted Fly Boots. Totally new and unopened. Sells new for ~$16/pair. Buy separate or together.

Used Fly Masks with ears and nose plus UV protection. Blue trim are full size. All grey is Small Horse/Arab size. Used, with sharpie labelling, but structurally sound. Would part for $10 each OBO. Purchase separately or together.