Hillside Stables

04/10/2026

Take some time to read this.

INAPPROPRIATE TOUCHING

I'm reading an amazing book called Amphibious Soul by Craig Foster, the Academy award winning documentary film maker of "My Octopus Teacher".

If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, it is simply profound.

In the book he says "As a rule, I never touch an animal unless they touch me first".

In my work building relationship with horses, I do this too. Most times a horse will touch you with their nose/muzzle first, and matching that greeting (versus labelling the horse as a biter) is a game changer.

But there's a phenomenon I have noticed going on with people trying to build relationship with their horses that I have labelled "inappropriate touching", and it looks a bit like the photo below.

This picture was taken at a horse expo in Pennsylvania recently, where I worked with a demo horse who has a "biting issue". He would reaching out in a way that his owner was termed as nipping, whereas I interpreted as him saying hello, similar to reaching out to shake hands with someone.

When he reached out I would greet him with a flat hand that he is able to to nuzzle, lick or even scrape his teeth on. After doing this a while his snappy acting motions got less so, and he was no longer needing to say "hey, pay attention" , but was more "hey, how's it going". I was explaining to the audience that I was meeting him in the way that he was meeting me (with his muzzle) and that it's not an invitation to touch other parts (yet).

I then said that it's many people's default to reach up and rub a horse between the eyes, whether that's what they are offering or not, and that if you do, it's inappropriate touching and it gets in the way of connection. It doesn't meet their needs, and is all about yours.

With the horse in the picture, he'd been engaging me with his muzzle, and I said to the audience "watch what happens when I try to rub him between the eyes". As you can see in the photo, he has raised his head up and is clearly indicating "No, not there, on my muzzle".

We had a Connection And Attunement retreat here at the Journey On Ranch a week ago, and I used my wife Robyn to illustrate this point to the participants. I said "imagine I'm at a gathering and meeting Robyn for the first time". We walked up to each other in that way people do when they see someone new and they can tell an introduction is shaping up, Robyn reached out with her hand to say hello and instead of me reaching out to shake her hand, I gently reached up and lightly brushed a wisp of hair from her cheekbone and tucked it behind her ear.

The participants all gasped and the ick factor was high.

Even though it was caring, and gentle, it was inappropriate at that moment.

Now Im not saying you can't rub your horse on the forehead. I'm saying if your horse has a disregulated nervous system around humans because they don't feel seen (and safe), try to meet their needs first, before trying get get yours met.

I recently saw an instagram post from a University in the UK, and the professor was explaining that they were doing studies on horses to determine levels of stress. In the background a horse was standing with his head out over a Dutch door. While he was explaining their investigations on stress, a female student (or maybe another professor, I don't know which) walked up to the horse. The horse reached out with his muzzle to greet her.

She ignored this and reached up to rub the horse between the eyes.

He turned his head 90 degrees to the left to communicate that wasn't what he was offering.

Her hand followed him and kept rubbing.

he then turned his head 180 degrees to the right, saying "No, not like that".

Smiled, gave him another pet between the eyes, and walked of camera.

While the professor was saying that they are doing experiments determining the amounts of stress horses are under, someone in the background was actually creating stress, without either of them even knowing it.

Once you understand how sentient horses are, and how subtle their communication, you can't unsee it.

03/31/2026

If you don’t take the time to listen, you can’t hear them.

03/24/2026

Four minute ‘boring’ horse training video. 😆

03/24/2026

So jealous. The Boomer and Scooter have better eye liner than I ever will. 🤣

03/22/2026

Anybody have marshmallows?

03/15/2026

Lovely day for a ride before the weather turns on us.

01/24/2026

And barn managers. Hillside boarders have that peace of mind.

12/31/2025

Happy New Year!

12/28/2025

Bwahaaaaa. Bill Theobald, you are safe. Love you.

12/27/2025

😆🤣🤔

12/26/2025

Something to contemplate.

Here’s a little horse science to kick off your Boxing Day, folks 🧠🐴

I know a lot of people spend what feels like a million bucks on gadgets, gear, and the next best thing, but none of that really matters if you don’t understand that your horse is engaging with you through the emotional and survival part of the brain.

It’s not about equipment, training, or techniques. It’s about understanding that your horse is meeting you through the limbic system, the part of the brain that governs connection, emotion, and safety.

This is called Limbic Resonance.

Limbic resonance is the deep, non verbal emotional and physiological syncing that happens between individuals through the brain’s limbic system. In humans, this is how empathy, bonding, and emotional understanding develop. It’s that feeling of being on the same wavelength, where one person’s inner state naturally influences another’s.

We see this everywhere. A calm person can settle someone who feels anxious. A baby relaxes in the arms of someone who feels safe. Dogs will often choose to sit near certain people or lean into them, while reacting nervously around others. None of this relies on words or deliberate behaviour. It’s about how that person feels on the inside.

This is limbic resonance at work.

So what does limbic resonance actually look like in the body?

Inside the brain is a group of structures called the limbic system. This system is responsible for emotions, memory, bonding, and survival responses. It is constantly scanning the environment for information about safety, danger, and connection.

The limbic system does not work on its own. It is directly linked to the central nervous system, which carries electrical impulses throughout the body. These impulses influence breathing, heart rate, muscle tone, posture, facial expression, and subtle movement. Together, they create your internal state.

And that internal state is not private.

We are constantly broadcasting it outward in several ways at once. Through our body signals like posture, tension, breath, and rhythm. Through chemical signals such as scent and pheromones. And through electrical impulses moving through the nervous system. Other mammals pick this up automatically, without thinking about it.

This is limbic resonance in action. It is nervous system to nervous system communication. No words needed.

Horses excel at this.

As prey animals that have survived for over 55 million years, horses have developed this system to an extraordinary level. Their survival has always depended on being able to sense and respond to subtle changes in others. They are masters of limbic resonance.

Within a herd, horses are constantly reading each other’s emotional and physical states. This silent communication keeps them safe. It is their primary language.

When we spend time with horses, we step into that system.

Horses do not tune into our words first. They sense how we feel, how present we are, and what we are carrying inside. Long before we act or speak, they already know whether we feel calm, unsure, confident, or unsettled.

Your internal dialogue plays a big role here.

And to be fair, it is completely understandable that you might feel uneasy when you see something worrying ahead, especially when you are out riding. A flapping tarp, a banging gate, or something unfamiliar in the distance can easily trigger a moment of tension. That does not make you a bad rider or handler. It makes you human.

If you are standing there thinking, oh no, he’s going to freak out, your nervous system is already broadcasting tension. Your horse feels that immediately, often before anything actually happens, and that is very often the moment that actually sets him off and makes him freak out.

If instead you can gently train yourself to pause, breathe, and think, it’s fine, nothing to worry about, I’ve got this and I’ve got you, that provides him with a sense of reassurance and safety that often keeps him calm.

You do not need to say it out loud. When your thoughts, breathing, and body line up, your horse can feel that steadiness and borrow it. If you see something as just a thing, your horse is far more likely to see it the same way.

This is why breathing matters so much.

Slow, steady breathing slows the heart rate and settles the nervous system. When your nervous system settles, you are not pretending to be calm, you actually are calm. That genuine calmness then flows naturally through your body, your chemistry, and your nervous system.

Horses pick this up instantly.

When a horse feels that real steadiness, they feel safer. And when a horse feels safe, they are more likely to want to be near you, connect with you, and stay relaxed. Not because you asked them to, but because your presence feels good to be around.

And no, you do not need to be a Tibetan monk sitting on a mountain to do this.

Simply slowing your breathing, softening your body, and being present is enough. Even a few conscious breaths can change what you are broadcasting.

Horses do not need perfection. They just need you to be real.

In humans, limbic resonance builds connection and understanding. In horses, it is about safety and survival.

When you understand this, working with horses becomes less about trying harder and more about slowing down, breathing, and being present.

And honestly, that probably is the most valuable Boxing Day gift you can give your horse.

12/24/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BqUjWEFj4/
Looking forward to this~

EDIT: It is NOT a 1/2 price ticket! It is a buy one set of tickets, get another set free. ☹

Looking forward to the 2026 Southern Equine Expo held February 27-March 1 at the Tennessee Miller Coliseum in Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Go to www.SouthernEquineExpo.com to order tickets.

Clinicians include Steve Lantvit, Tommie Turvey, Ginger Duke, Cavin Graham, Braveheart Beasts, Michelle Gilles, Cedar Potts-Warner and C**t Starting Competitors Samantha Byrd, Jacleen Hess and Tauni Huddleston. Sold out Vendor Hall again in 2026.