10/20/2026
I just wanted to take a moment to let everyone know what’s been going on behind the scenes here at Kentuckiana Poodles.
As many of you know, I lost my Max yesterday. And I don’t think there are words in this world that could even begin to explain what this loss has done to me. I’m broken. Completely and utterly broken. I can’t seem to pull myself out of bed. I can’t seem to find the motivation to do much of anything. My happiness, my joy, and a huge part of who I am feel like they’ve been ripped right out of my chest. And as much as I wish I could pick myself up and carry on like normal, I just can’t right now. I didn’t just say goodbye to my dog. I said goodbye to my world. My heart and soul. A part of myself that I will never get back. Max was with me through every single version of myself. From a reckless teenager who didn’t have a clue what she was doing with her life, to the woman, mother, and business owner I am today. Through every heartbreak, every mistake, every accomplishment, every milestone, and every chapter of my life. No matter what changed around me, one thing never did. Max was always there. And now, for the first time in 10 years, he’s not.
I don’t know how to do life without him. I don’t know how to come home and not see him waiting for me. I don’t know how to go about my day without looking for him in all the places he should be. I don’t know how to accept that the world just keeps turning when it feels like mine has completely stopped. I’ve experienced loss before, but nothing has ever hurt me like this. This is without a doubt the hardest death I’ve ever had to face. And I wasn’t ready. I don’t think another 10 years would have made me ready. I’m trying to give myself some grace and allow myself to grieve, but I’m struggling. I’m struggling more than I ever imagined I could. And right now, I genuinely don’t know how to push through it. I’m just praying that with time, I’ll learn how to carry this pain a little easier, because right now it feels unbearable. 
I also want to say how incredibly thankful I am for everyone who has helped take care of the things that still have to be done. The dogs still need cared for, puppies still need tended to, and life doesn’t stop just because mine feels like it has. I know I haven’t been myself, and I know I’ve been gone from things that normally have my full attention.
And especially thankful for Zack. I don’t even know how to begin thanking him. For picking up every piece of me as it falls apart, wiping away my tears, and taking on everything that I just can’t seem to manage right now. I know watching me hurt like this can’t be easy, but he hasn’t let me fall alone. I don’t know what I’d do without him. So if I’m slow to respond, or don’t respond at all, if puppy updates and pictures are delayed, or if things are a little quieter around here than usual, please just bear with me. I’m not ignoring anyone, and I haven’t forgotten about my responsibilities. I’m just taking some time to myself because, right now, I’m not okay. I have spent so much of my life taking care of everyone and everything around me, and right now I’m having a hard time even taking care of myself. I know eventually I’ll have to find my way back to some kind of normal. I know Max would never have wanted my entire world to stop because his did. But knowing that and figuring out how to actually do it are two very different things.
For 10 years, I never had to figure out who I was without him. And now I’m being forced to. I just need a little time. Thank you to everyone who has reached out, prayed for Max, checked on us, and loved him from afar. I wish more than anything that I was sharing a different update. I would give anything in this world for one more day with my boy. 10 years just wasn’t enough. 💔