06/07/2026
This! 👏👏 It is okay to have an aloof or more cautious dog. I feel like there's a social pressure to have a dog that loves everybody, especially when it gets groomed. It's easy to take the pictures of the dogs who love the grooming process and love strangers. But I truly love to work with some of the more cautious reserved pups to ensure that they have a safe grooming experience.
The “immediately friendly equals well-socialised” myth
There’s a widespread assumption - particularly in Western dog culture - that an immediately friendly dog is a well-socialised one. But sociability and social health aren’t the same thing.
A dog that rushes up to every stranger isn’t necessarily confident. It can equally reflect overarousal (due to varying emotions), a lack of impulse control, or a lack of clear social boundaries.
Natural reservation and fear are not the same thing. This distinction matters enormously, and the two are frequently collapsed, which is a significant equivocation with real consequences for dogs.
Fear-based reservation tends to involve active avoidance, visible stress signals, and an inability to recover. Natural reservation looks quite different - the dog may be calm, observant, and fully functional - simply withholding engagement until they’ve made their own assessment. Conflating the two pathologises a healthy characteristic.
Some breeds were never bred for indiscriminate friendliness: Chow Chows, Akitas, and many Nordic and Eastern breeds among them. Applying a universal social template to every dog and finding them wanting does a real disservice to both the individual and the breed. The Eurasier standard, for example, describes the breed as reserved with strangers, but without signs of aggression - and in my experience, that’s accurate. There’s a spectrum, as with any breed, but natural reservation was genuinely one of the things that drew me to them.
The pressure for dogs to be immediately friendly with strangers largely serves the stranger, not the dog. A dog that takes their time is exercising due diligence. Appropriate social boundaries. Something we’d readily respect in a human.
There’s also a persistent assumption that reservation in adult dogs signals inadequate early socialisation. Sometimes that’s true - but a well-socialised dog of a naturally reserved breed, or any breed, may still be reserved. Socialisation does shape confidence and resilience, but it doesn’t necessarily alter how much social contact a dog seeks, or from whom.
Every dog deserves to be read as an individual - not measured against a template, or unrealistic expectations that we wouldn’t apply to other humans.
