09/27/2026
I questioned if I made the right decision for months. Until our first huge heatwave after when I found myself relieved he wasn’t suffering through it. I found myself questioning the decision again until the first snowstorm came through and I was grateful his old joints were bothering him while I lay awake at night worrying.
When Love Means Letting Them Go on a Good Day
What does it really mean to let them go on a good day?
It means that, for you, it will probably be one of the hardest days of your life.
It won't matter if you've never had to make that decision before. It won't matter if you've been blessed with months or even years of good days. When the time comes, that good day will still feel impossibly wrong.
Because they'll look at you like they always do.
They'll nicker when you walk through the gate.
They'll happily accept the extra treats.
They'll enjoy the extra scratches, the hugs, the attention.
The sun may be shining. The weather may be beautiful. They're eating. They're drinking. They're walking. They're comfortable. Maybe they're even standing there looking completely normal.
And you'll think:
How can I possibly say goodbye today?
That's exactly what choosing a good day means.
It means making the decision before the emergency makes it for you.
Before the next Central Valley heat wave pushes an already fragile body too far.
Before an unexpected fall.
Before colic turns into an emergency in the middle of the night.
Before an old horse struggles through another winter storm.
Before a horse that has been managing Cushings, DSLD, arthritis, neurological disease, or another progressive condition suddenly reaches a point where comfort is no longer possible.
Before you're standing in a trailer, on the side of a road, in the middle of an evacuation, or desperately trying to find an emergency veterinarian while your horse is suffering.
Horse owners know how quickly conditions can change.
Heat can become dangerous. Wildfire can change everything in a matter of hours. Roads can close. Evacuations can happen. Veterinary emergencies don't wait for business hours.
And sometimes the greatest act of horsemanship isn't fighting for one more day.
Sometimes it is having the courage to say:
“Today is still a good day. I want it to stay that way.”
Your horse won't understand why there are so many treats.
They won't know why you're giving them extra hugs.
They won't understand why you're crying.
They aren't thinking about next winter.
They aren't worrying about the next heat wave.
They aren't thinking about the disease that's progressing or the bad day that may eventually come.
They are simply living in the moment.
And if their final moment is peaceful, comfortable, surrounded by familiar people, and filled with love, then you have given them something incredibly precious.
You have spared them the fear, pain, panic, and trauma that can come when we wait until there is no other choice.
Will you second-guess yourself?
Absolutely.
You may second-guess yourself while you're making the decision.
You may second-guess yourself while you're holding them.
You may second-guess yourself for weeks afterward.
That's grief.
That's love.
And then eventually, another heat wave will come.
Another storm.
Another difficult day.
And you'll look at the empty space where they used to stand and realize:
They were happy.
They were comfortable.
They were safe.
They were loved.
You didn't wait for their worst day.
You gave them their last good one.
It will break your heart.
It may always break your heart.
But sometimes, letting them go while they are still having a good day is not giving up on them.
It is choosing to carry the hardest part yourself.
Because love doesn't always mean holding on.
Sometimes love means knowing when to let go.
By Sara Quinn
