09/05/2026
Available for adoption!! PLEASE read the entire post, Matilda worked very hard to pen a meaningful and accurate letter to prospective candidates. If you are interested, please reach out to the office 860-567-0766
Matilda
Candidate for Sole Household Pet
Dear Human with Good Cat-Sense,
I am writing to express my interest in the position of Only Pet in the Home, a role for which I am well qualified and uniquely suited.
I bring a curious nature, intermittent affection, and a sporadically temperamental disposition. These qualities make me both engaging and predictably unpredictable. I am fully proficient in Sass and Hiss, effectively communicating my displeasure without the burden of actual confrontation.
My professional history includes the challenging position of Mother, during which I begrudgingly queened and weaned a litter of kittens. While I performed my duties with minimal enthusiasm, I have since concluded that I prefer an exclusive arrangement in which all attention, resources, and household admiration are directed toward me.
Later, as “Tack Room Tilly” at a local horse barn, I successfully struck fear into the hearts of horses, cats, and a forever-shaken Staffordshire Terrier. This role demonstrated my ability to establish dominance and boundaries across species and my unwavering commitment to maintaining a position of superiority.
I am currently employed as Hospital Cat at Northwest Corner Veterinary Hospital, where I have gained considerable experience interacting with veterinary professionals who are sympathetic to my mercurial demeanor. It is a position that is beneath my dignity but nevertheless useful for character development.
I seek a stable, permanent home with a human who understands that “ownership” is largely theoretical, closed doors are a personal insult, and affection is best reciprocated according to my whims.
I offer companionship, selective purring, and the considerable privilege of living in my presence.
I would welcome the opportunity to inspect your home and determine whether it meets my standards.
Respectfully,
Matilda
Future Only Pet
Queen and Conditional Lap Ornament
