10/21/2026
As I make my way home after dropping off little Sara’s body at the veterinarian, I find myself staring out the window, searching for answers. Wondering why life is the way it is. Why so much suffering exists in a world where there is already so much pain.
For now, I don’t have any answers. All I can do is keep moving forward.
The dogs still need me. And if I stop, if I lose my focus, more animals suffer. So even on the days when I feel like I have nothing left to give, I keep going.
For so many years, I had dreams. Dreams for the rescue, for my family, for my future, and for the life I thought I was building.
After my accident, it felt like everything I loved either left me or was taken away. Almost as though I had done something to deserve losing it all.
I invested over $300,000 and countless hours of my life into a property that was essentially stolen from me because I trusted someone enough not to put my name on the title when we purchased it. That’s the difficult thing about having a soft heart. You want to believe in people. You want to trust that others have the same intentions you do, even when life has repeatedly shown you otherwise.
For the last few years, I’ve struggled to find meaning and purpose in my own life.
I no longer had the dream of building the spay and neuter clinic. I no longer had the family life I had imagined. My daughter is growing up, and like most 13-year-olds, her world is changing. She has friends, interests, and a life that increasingly revolves around things other than her dad. I understand that. But understanding it doesn’t make me feel any less like a part-time father.
Being a husband and a father was really all I ever wanted.
I see families together, children playing, parents sharing their lives, people who have the very things I once dreamed of having. A home filled with love, laughter, and someone to share the ordinary moments with.
And I miss that more than I could ever explain.
When I traveled this summer, I finally felt like I had something to look forward to again. Every morning brought a new adventure, a new place, a new experience. For the first time in a long time, I felt like my life had direction.
But coming home was difficult.
The reality of being alone again was crushing. No close friends waiting to see me. No one to hold me when I’m sad. No one to tell me they love me or simply give me a hug after a difficult day.
And some days, that loneliness feels heavier than anything else I’ve ever carried.
I know I cannot continue living emotionally the way I have been. I need something to work toward. Something that gives me a reason to wake up excited about tomorrow instead of simply trying to survive another day.
And maybe, just maybe, that something has been right in front of me all along.
Years ago, I dreamed of building something much bigger than a dog rescue.
I wanted to create a sanctuary.
A place where animals could find safety, compassion, and love. A place where dogs who had nowhere else to go could have a chance at life. But I also envisioned something that could bring people together, create jobs, provide opportunities, and become a meaningful contribution to the community.
Not simply a rescue, but a place where people and animals could find purpose together.
With everything happening in the world today, I believe a sanctuary like that might be more important than ever.
I’ve spent years thinking about what it could look like. I’ve imagined the property, the buildings, the kennels, the open spaces, the programs, and all the ways it could help animals and people alike.
Unfortunately, dreams like that require money. A lot of money. And I’ve never been particularly good at creating revenue streams, finding wealthy sponsors, or convincing people to invest in the things I believe in.
I’m just one person.
One person with a lot of ideas, a soft heart, and a lifetime of experiences that have taught me how fragile everything really is.
Sometimes the dream feels so far out of reach that I wonder whether it’s foolish to even imagine it.
But I suppose that’s one of the beautiful things about being human.
We can dream.
Even when life takes almost everything away, it cannot take away our ability to imagine something better.
Maybe I’ll never have the family life I once dreamed of. Maybe I’ll never recover everything I’ve lost. Maybe I’ll never have the financial resources to build the sanctuary I’ve imagined.
But maybe there’s still time to create something meaningful.
Maybe somewhere out there are people who believe in the same things I do. People who understand that compassion shouldn’t be limited by how much money someone has. People who believe that animals deserve safety and that a community can accomplish things one person never could.
Maybe one day those people will come together, and we can build something extraordinary.
A sanctuary that doesn’t just save animals but gives people a place to belong, a place to contribute, and something to believe in.
Today, I’m grieving the loss of a tiny puppy named Sara. I’m thinking about all the things I’ve lost, all the dreams I’ve watched disappear, and all the years I’ve spent trying to find my way.
But somewhere beneath all that sadness, there’s still a little part of me that wants to believe there’s something beautiful waiting ahead.
Even though I know it’s a dream that is hard to obtain. Maybe the dream is enough for me to hold onto even if I can’t accomplish it And perhaps that’s enough to keep me going for now.
I may not know how to make this last dream a reality.
But I’m not ready to stop dreaming.
And maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to build it alone.
1 Love Dog Rescue 🐾❤️
Remember the world is imperfect and as much as you think that you want or need something better, maybe what you have has always been enough. Be thankful for the people in your life., Who are there for you, Who love you and would drop everything to make sure you’re OK. That is worth more than gold.
