05/22/2026
I'm no couples therapist, but I can tell you common 🚩dynamics🚩 that I see ruin a dog's training all the time
🚩The good cop bad cop dynamic🚩
One partner prioritizes consistency in the dog's rules and boundaries while the other permits or even rewards the dog for the undesired behaviors.
🚩The devil in the ear dynamic🚩
While one partner is doing their best to work with the dog and progress their skills, the other partner is frequently critical of them or actively tells them they will not succeed.
🚩The butting heads dynamic🚩
The partners don't agree on what training methods to use, confusing the dog and sabotaging each other along the way.
And I usually see these dynamics at play in conjunction with one another. A very specific, but wildly common scenario I come across plays out like this...
Partner A- complains about the dog doing xyz behaviors and tells Partner B the dog needs training or they aren't keeping the dog
Partner B- reaches out to multiple trainers, does the research, gets recommendations from their local community, and make their selection for a trainer. Then, Partner B goes through the usual enrollment process submitting forms, completing payment, scheduling the appointments, etc.
Partner B- meets the trainer and gets to work. The trainer explains how the training works, how to implement it, and provides necessary homework for progress. Partner A either passively observes the training session with an occasional backhanded comment or isn't present at all.
Partner B- has been committing to the homework and is making normal progress with their dog, but is constantly having to fend off pessimism from Partner A because Partner A doesn't agree with the trainer that Partner B chose and they don't like the methods they use.
Partner B- now has to balance satisfying their homework goals while pacifying Partner A's displeasure and disinterest in the training. Potentially, Partner A is actively trying to sabotage and is intentionally doing things that the trainer told them not to do because Partner A does not want Partner B to be successful.
Repeat this loop over the course of multiple sessions and the trainer begins to see that progress with this household is going to be painfully slow or may not happen at all...
All of this to say! If everyone in the household is not on board with training and with the training methods to be used, figure it out BEFORE hiring a trainer, not after because as I said, I'm no couples therapist.
