30/12/2025
“Losing them doesn’t mean losing the love we shared; it means carrying it differently, in every heartbeat, memory, and quiet moment.” 🧡😽🤍🕊️
I am using yoga nidra and meditation to support my nervous system through grieving three losses at once—Olympia, Seoul, and Thirteen. This isn’t laziness or avoidance. It’s a survival response.
Grief is metabolically expensive. Acute loss floods the body with stress hormones. After sustained overload, my system needs rest and deep restoration. Yoga nidra provides that repair state—time to process, release, and integrate when awake activity alone is too heavy.
The losses were cumulative. Losing one furbaby destabilizes; losing three in a short span overwhelms my brain’s ability to process, decide, or remain alert. The cumulative trauma weighs heavily, and guided rest reduces input when I cannot integrate more pain.
These were not “just pets.” Neurologically, they were attachment figures. When multiple bonds are severed, the brain responds with withdrawal—slowed movement, hypersomnia, disengagement.
Intrusive images surface—moments, faces, final paws in mine. Each death brought grief and trauma. Yoga nidra allows me to hold these vestiges gently, letting my body rest while my mind metabolizes them safely.
I spent a month providing round-the-clock care. I walked, meditated, worked out, kept routines—but when I lay down, the vestiges returned. Now, yoga nidra guides me through this pause, letting me restore while staying present.
Even with vigilance, heightened senses, and protective routines, this pain overwhelms the strongest armor. I lost my role as caregiver—not just the pets, but the purpose, routines, and attention. Yoga nidra fills this vacuum temporarily, while wakeful routines keep me grounded.
I’ll know if grief is tipping into concern if rest becomes numbing, or if appetite, focus, and motivation fail to return. For now, this is stabilization, not regression.
Yoga nidra is my body saying: “I can’t hold this yet—let me survive, restore, and process first.”
🕊️ In loving memory of Olympia, Seoul, and Thirteen
Forever in my heart 🧡😽🤍