25/05/2026
Mr Pumpernickle’s Weekly Whisker Report
"New Staff, Bin Betrayal, Snuggle Season… and Glowing Cats Incoming"
This week has been a whirlwind at VetsOne, and I, Mr Pumpernickle, have been very busy managing the arrival of two new Veterinarians — Natasha and Madhuri! I love when we get new staff. Fresh humans to train. Fresh hands to pat me. Fresh pockets that may or may not contain snacks.
I have already begun teaching them the important clinic rules:
1. I get attention first.
2. I get attention second.
3. And if unsure, refer back to rules one and two.
They’re learning quickly.
Then came Tuesday — cold, miserable, and entirely unacceptable. I demanded to be snuggled into the weekly meeting, wrapped up like a ginger kitty burrito. The staff complied, as they should. I sat through the whole meeting tucked in and warm, offering moral support and occasional look just to check everyone was doing their best.
However, my week took a dark turn when one of the nurses decided it would be hilarious to place me in the freebie bin “just to see what I’d look like.”
I’ll tell you what I looked like....... "Unamused".
A king does not belong in a bargain bin.
I have made a mental note of this betrayal.
To end this week we have a new round of I‑131 radioactive iodine patients come into Vetsone from other clinics far and wide — we provide life‑altering treatment for hyperthyroid cats. It’s incredible medicine… and also means we will temporarily have glowing cats in the building.
Not literally glowing (I asked), but still — radioactive patients?
Very exciting.
I will be monitoring them from a safe distance, mostly because I am not interested in sharing my spotlight with semi nuclear felines.
All in all, a week of new recruits, bin‑related indignities, snuggle emergencies, and the anticipation of mildly radioactive visitors.
I remain your loyal, dramatic, and highly pampered clinic cat.
– Mr Pumpernickle