06/08/2026
One thing that seems to have come up with quite a few clients recently is confidence / self belief.
None of these clients have had a big accident, usually, it's been something relatively small - a spook, a loss of balance, or even just a moment that caught them off guard that has snowballed into a larger issue. Every one of them has then followed it with something along the lines of, "I know it's silly," or "It wasn't even a big deal," or "I don't know why it's affected me so much."
..The thing here is, our brains don't really care whether we think something was significant enough to justify a loss of confidence. They just recognise something felt unsafe, file it away and try to protect us from it happening again. The common pattern of where people seem to get stuck is what happens next, instead of acknowledging that they're finding something difficult, they beat themselves up for finding it difficult...They tell themselves they should be able to do it, can't ride, can't hack, or can't canter anymore.
This is exactly why I'm forever pulling clients up on the word can't. Not because I'm trying to be positive for the sake of it, but because words REALLY matter, especially when we're trying to break a feedback loop (like helping our horse past something they've found difficult to deal with!).. Subtle changes in how we talk to ourselves ("I'm finding this difficult at the moment") leaves room for our brain to stop the loop.
If you keep telling yourself you can't, your brain starts looking for evidence that you're right. If you accept that something feels hard right now, you give yourself permission to navigate to the other side🙏💪
Confidence isn't something you either have or you don't, it changes and fluctuates (especially for women, who make up the majority of my client base, remember hormones can play a huge part in this, so being kinder to yourself when you can preempt not feeling your most positive is super important!). Remember confidence can also be rebuilt. A bit like how most of us give out horses regularly physio, bodywork etc but never allow ourselves a massage, treat your brain with the kindness you treat your horses' with 💖🦄🙏