16/06/2026
I was looking through photos to use for facebook posts. And I realised that all the recent ones of me and Alice involve me carrying her… and that made me a little bit sad. But it also made me smile 🥰
I started picking her up on walks maybe a year ago, maybe longer, I don’t really remember. I used to pick her up cos she would run out of steam and eventually just kind of grind to a halt.
But actually she’s doing loads better now. I do still carry her home sometimes - mostly cos she's been pottering along sniffing for so long that it's taken us 45 minutes to do our round-the-block morning walk and I need to get back home and have my coffee and/or do some work 🙈
But it also reminded me about a post I wrote ages ago… I believe it was one of the first (of many) “Things People Say That Really Get My Goat” rants 🤣
And I thought it was worth a recap, so here goes:
When your small dog’s space is about to be invaded by a larger dog, and you pick up your dog before anything bad can happen, and the other owner says:
🗣 “You shouldn’t pick your dog up, it reinforces their fear”
This, my friends, is an absolute nonsense.
Helping your dog to feel more safe and secure when they’re scared will not make their fear worse. Fact.
You can, on the other hand, make their fear worse by NOT acknowledging it and responding to it.
Imagine your toddler was petrified of clowns and you took him to the circus.
[Arguably a poor choice for a day out, given the circumstances 🤔 but anyhow]
If your toddler was about to burst into tears when Bozo appeared, would you a) pick him up and comfort him, or b) ignore him and let him cry his eyes out?
[I mean if you’re the sort of person that would take their clown-phobic child to the circus in the first place, it’s possible that you might pick option B 🤷♀️]
But I’m guessing most of us here would go for option A.
[And of course yes, children aren’t dogs. But there are many parallels. So many parallels.]
Picking up your dog to make them feel better in a scenario that they are not comfortable in will NOT make them more scared.
It will, however, have enabled them to avoid that particular encounter, and so they haven't had to resort to barking and lunging to make their feelings known.
And it will also have started to teach them that you've got their back in those types of situations, which can help build their confidence.
It’s worth mentioning some suggestions and caveats here:
👉 If your dog isn’t happy being handled and/or picked up, then picking them may not make them feel any better, and may in fact make them feel worse
👉 It can be beneficial to teach a cue word like “Ready” or “Up”, so that your dog knows that you’re about to pick them up - rather than just scooping them up with no warning
(You can do this simply by saying your cue word each time before you bend down to pick them up - they will quickly learn that this word means you're going to pick them up. And, you can also easily turn this into a question: do you want me to pick you up? If I say “pick you up” to Alice, she knows she has the choice of standing still and being picked up, or moving away if she wants to carry on with her walk)
👉 Picking your dog up could encourage the incoming dog to jump up at you to get to your dog, which - depending on the size of the dog - could be dangerous for you both. Contrary to what the other owner might say, that doesn’t make it your fault. It’s their fault for having an out-of-control dog. But it is something to bear in mind.
In summary: if you want to pick up your small dog, please do so ❤️ hell if you want to pick up your large dog then do so too. Although don’t come running / crawling to me when you need a chiropractor 🙈🤣
