05/10/2023
➖My therapist talked to me recently and he said have you grieved your old life? I said no, I’m determined not to be a victim and I know I will get better, so there’s nothing to grieve there’s no point. Then he asked “Well can you do everything u used to?” I said no. He said “are there things you wish you could do but that your illness has taken from you right now?” I said yes. He said “is life much more complicated and hard for you at this moment then it was before you got sick?” Yes... he said “then there’s a reason to grieve”.
➖Things can get better. But right now your sick and you weren’t before. And there is something sad in that, he said. And he’s right. It’s been one of the hardest things to admit to myself. I’m not as healthy as you used to be. This illness has taken so much from me every single day, it robs me of things that it didn’t before.
➖You’re allowed to be sad. And you are allowed to be mad. Your allowed to ask questions. You’re allowed to hate your illness and pray for it to go away. You’re allowed to feel. To have permission to to feel. It’s ok that things aren’t that great. There is an importance in admitting that. I think thats they way we begin to heal. Is in the grief.
