31/01/2017
Must admit, I am a bit nonplussed today, not really sure what happened yesterday – still trying to piece it together, it’s all a bit of a blur.
It started nicely enough, I took the tubby one for a short walk before breakfast, but it went downhill from there.
When we got back instead of getting me my breakfast, he put me in the car and took me to the place where the nice lady with the curly black hair who pokes me about and jabs me lives.
I didn’t see her, but another nice one did the usual thing of talking about me as if I wasn’t in the room and asking some pretty personal questions – how rude. And she asked him if I had had my breakfast and before I could say “No I haven’t”, the tubby one admitted it to her and they both seemed pleased about it – “What a liberty!”.
Anyway I got bored of listening to them and there were some very interesting smells to sniff and so I missed the last half of the conversation and all of a sudden he was kissing me on the head, rubbing my chin and saying goodbye. “What the?”
He was out of that door quicker than a whippet at a herring gull and the nice lady took me out the back and gave me a jab in the backside - I prefer it when the one with the curly black hair does it.
Then everything got a bit fuzzy and don’t know what happened, I woke up a lot later on in a cage a bit like my one at home, but without my smells and I had a very dry mouth and my head was all swimmy, so I went back to sleep.
Then about dinner time I was woken up – I think, I can’t be sure if it was a dream or what, my head was still swimmy. Any way the nice lady who jabbed me started feeding me some soft stuff it was lovely, but I couldn’t understand why I had to wait until dinner time to get my breakfast.
Then I think the tubby one and the pretty one showed up, but I can’t be sure, because it was all still so much like a dream and they brought me home and put me on my new day bed and covered me up, but I don’t know what was up with me, because I fell asleep again! At least I did if I wasn’t already asleep and just dreaming that I fell asleep – who knows? I think I woke up and went for toilets a couple of times in the night, but again might have been dreaming it.
The tubby one woke me up this morning and carried me out to the garden for toilets. Anyway just as I started to try and push out a number two (if you’ll forgive me) I noticed that my tummy was very sore and it was very hard work. Anyway as soon as I had finished the tubby one picked me up and carried me inside again put me on my day bed and started feeding me the soft stuff again, so maybe I didn’t dream it. Then he gave me my normal breakfast – although can’t help feeling he still owes me a breakfast.
After my breakfast I suddenly remembered the pain in my belly when I was doing my business so decided to have a look and I nearly feinted when I saw it. All my hair seems to have fallen out on my belly and there is this huge great scar running almost the entire length of it – “ What the, How did that happen?” “It’s massive - I tell you what- There’s something very rotten in the state of Denmark.”
I couldn’t believe it, I thought to myself this needs a thorough investigation and just as I was giving it the once over tubby wanders up and says “No licking Luna!” and puts a gert rubber donut round my neck so that I couldn’t continue my investigation. I tried really hard to get that donut off, but it was no use, there was no way that was shifting –“Bugger!”
Oh well back to sleep then - the donut makes a nice pillow.
