19/10/2026
🚨WANTED: FOUR LEGGED LEGENDS & REASONABLY SANE HUMANS! 🚨
Must have four legs, a decent attitude and an owner who hasn’t mistaken me for a 24 hour customer service helpline. 🤣🍷
That’s right… CHAOS WITH K9s HAS SPACES AVAILABLE! 🎉
Now, before everyone starts throwing their dogs at me (please don’t, my back’s already hanging on by a thread), I should probably explain that we’re a slightly selective establishment.
You see, I’m not just looking for any dog to join the gang. I’m looking for the right dogs, the right owners and ideally a working relationship that doesn’t require physiotherapy, debt collection or a restraining order.
So, what does it take to join this rather exclusive little woodland gang? 🌲🐾
🐶 Well socialised dogs!
Dogs that understand not every dog they see is their long lost best friend. We don’t need anyone charging across fields to introduce themselves to every living creature within a five mile radius. And if your dog’s preferred handshake involves humping… we’re probably not the gang for them. 😂
🌲 Owners who actually want their dogs’ needs met!
We’re not running an out of control puppy party where everyone gets released into a field and told to crack on. We’re out exploring woodlands, sniffing out adventures, practising manners and giving those little brains a proper workout. Yes, we have fun. Yes, we get muddy. But there’s a method to the madness!
🦮 Dogs that have at least been introduced to the concept of a lead!
I’m not expecting Crufts level heelwork. A little pulling here and there? We’re all human (well, some of us). But if your dog thinks my shoulder sockets are detachable and my spine is merely a suggestion, we might have a problem. I’ve only got one back and I’d quite like to keep it. 🤣
💸 Clients who pay on time!
I absolutely adore your dogs, but unfortunately Morrison’s doesn’t accept Labrador cuddles as payment. Invoices are sent weekly, and I’d rather spend my evenings with my own dogs than chasing unpaid ones. 🫣
📱 And finally… owners with a healthy respect for business hours!
I love a good chat, I really do. But 11:47pm after three glasses of Sauvignon Blanc probably isn’t the ideal time to discuss whether Fluffy can come on an extra walk next Thursday. Believe me, in this job you really do see it all. 🍷🙈
Now, before anyone thinks I’ve lost the plot…
I absolutely LOVE what I do. I put my heart, soul and occasionally my remaining sanity into giving dogs the best adventures possible.
I’m looking for lovely dogs and equally lovely humans who appreciate that good dog walking is about more than just letting dogs run riot for an hour.
🩷 What you get in return?
• Fully insured, canine first aid trained dog walker
• Structured woodland and countryside adventures 🌲
• Mental stimulation, enrichment and plenty of sniffing
• Carefully matched gang of four legged pals
• Someone who genuinely loves your dog like one of her own (even when they’re being little menaces!)
📍 Covering Perth & Bridge of Earn
🐾 Group walks available
📆 Minimum two walks per week for new clients
If your dog sounds like they’d fit in with our gang, pop me a message!
Bonus points if your dog has a personality bigger than themselves. We love a character… just preferably one that doesn’t dislocate my shoulder. 🤣
