07/08/2026
“My dog is so stubborn!”
This is a phrase I hear regularly.
“My dog is stubborn because they won’t walk that way.”
“My dog is stubborn because they won’t get in the car.”
“My dog is stubborn because they won’t do what I ask.”
But I think it’s worth stopping and asking…
What does “stubborn” actually mean?
Often, we use the word stubborn when a dog’s choice doesn’t match our expectation.
But behaviour is communication.
Look at the dog in the picture attached.
Of course, this is only a snapshot in time, and we cannot know exactly what this dog is feeling from one moment alone.
But instead of immediately saying:
“They’re being stubborn.”
Let’s get curious.
Their tail appears slightly tucked, and they are backing away.
Could they be worried about something in that environment?
Could they be unsure?
Could something about this situation feel uncomfortable?
And let’s also look beyond behaviour and consider the physical picture too.
What about their equipment?
Could their harness be rubbing under their armpits?
Could the fit become uncomfortable at certain points of the walk, depending on their movement, posture or the direction they are travelling?
What looks like refusal is actually information.
The behaviour we see is only the end result.
The important part is understanding what is underneath it.
If your dog refuses to go in a certain direction on a walk, the question shouldn’t be:
“Why won’t my dog do what I want?”
A more useful question might be:
“Why don’t they want to?”
Do they feel safe going that way?
Is something about that environment worrying them?
Is another route more interesting or rewarding?
Are they finding being outside more rewarding than being in the house?
Have they previously had an uncomfortable experience there?
Could they be tired, overwhelmed, worried, or physically uncomfortable?
Dogs make choices based on their emotions, their experiences, their environment and their physical state.
They are not waking up thinking:
“Today I’m going to be difficult.”
They are navigating the world in the best way they know how.
But here is the part that might make us reflect…
Who is actually being STUBBORN?
The dog who is saying:
“I don’t feel comfortable going that way,”
“I don’t understand what you’re asking,” or
“I have a reason for not wanting to do this.”
Or the human who is saying:
“You must do this because I say so.”
Dogs live in a world where humans control almost everything.
We decide:
- Where they walk
- When they eat
- When they go outside
- What they can access
- Who they interact with
Dogs are not simply animals waiting to obey instructions. They are individuals with their own motivations, emotions and preferences.
This doesn’t mean dogs should make every decision of course there is safety considerations and laws we have to consider.
Living alongside humans is about balance finding a way where we can meet our dogs’ needs while also helping them safely navigate the expectations of our human world.
A good relationship is not about control or simply expecting compliance.
It is about communication, trust and teaching skills in a way that makes sense to the dog.
The same applies to cues you teach.
If you ask a dog to “sit” and they hesitate.
Ask:
Could sitting be uncomfortable?
Are they on a cold, wet or slippery surface?
Are they unsure about something in the environment?
Are they worried?
Have we taught the behaviour clearly in all context?
Does the behaviour actually have value for the dog, or have we only ever expected them to do it because we asked?
Do they really need to sit? Why do we insist on sit (that’s another post all together)
A dog’s hesitation is information.
It is an opportunity to listen.
Training should not be about just getting a behaviour.
It is about understanding the dog in front of us, building trust, and teaching in a way that supports both the dog and the human. A cooperative relationship comes from both sides learning, adapting and communicating with each other. A strong relationship provides the foundation that helps dogs feel secure, supports them through challenges, and can reduce the likelihood of behaviours escalating when difficulties arise.