What are the opening hours?

Monday 9am - 5pm Tuesday 9am - 5pm Wednesday 9am - 5pm Thursday 9am - 5pm Friday 9am - 5:30pm

https://app.toplinedogs.co.uk/public/registration?token=NWY4ZTQxOWQtNWFlMC00YmFjLWVkNDMtMDhkZDU3NDI3NjBm

The Groomery, Ardencaple, Helensburgh (2026)

01/10/2026

🍂🎃 A little holiday update from The Groomery 🎃🍂

I’m officially switching off the clippers for a wee break and some much-needed family time. ❤️

I’ll be on holiday from tomorrow for the October holidays and will be back in The Groomery on the 12th.

I’ll have my work phone away with me, so I’ll still be able to pick up messages, but there may be a little delay in replying while I’m off enjoying some time with my family.

I’m also still working my way through all of The Groomery Report Cards 😂🐾 so if your dog hasn’t had theirs yet, don’t worry — there are plenty more still to come! 🎓⭐️

Thank you so much, as always, for keeping me so busy and for your patience. 🥰

See you all when I’m back! 🎃🍁🍂🐾

Love
Christine 🐾

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Bailey
Breed: Cavapoo
Visit: First visit – bath & face trim 🥹🧡

⭐ Manners:
Absolutely amazing. For his very first visit, Bailey was unbelievably calm and took everything in his stride. Such a sweet, gentle wee boy.

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Brilliant! No drama, no complaints — just a very good boy wondering what this whole Groomery business was about. 😂

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
A little unsure of the dryer at first, but quickly realised there was nothing to worry about. He soon settled down and sat there like a little hairy human getting his hair fluffed up. 😂🥹

✂️ Face & Eye Trim:
PERFECTION. 🌟
Stood incredibly still and let me trim around his eyes and face without any fuss. You’d never have guessed it was his first visit.

🐾 Paws & Nails:
Let me shave out his paw pads and trim his nails like an absolute professional. Not a single complaint. Gold-star behaviour. ⭐

🤹‍♂️ Special Skills/Talent:
Going from calm, sensible grooming student to a little ginger streak tearing around with his sister the second his groom was finished. 😂💨

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Setting the first-visit standard suspiciously high
• Pretending to be a tiny human during his blow-dry
• Excessive good behaviour
• Post-groom ginger zoomies 😂

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
What an absolute little star Bailey was for his first visit. 🥹 He was calm, trusting and so well behaved for everything I introduced him to. Once the serious grooming business was finished, the puppy came straight back out and off he went racing around with his sister. 😂 Beautiful boy with a very bright grooming future ahead of him. 🧡

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For absolutely smashing his first visit, sitting like a little hairy gentleman and showing me he’s going to be a grooming superstar. 🥹🧡

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Daisy
Breed: German Shepherd x Rottweiler
Status: Gorgeous sweetheart with the ability to hold a grudge 😂❤️

⭐ Manners:
Absolutely brilliant. Daisy knows the routine — comes in, jumps straight into the bath and then hops onto the table like the seasoned professional she is. Such a well-behaved, affectionate girl.

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Excellent. Straight in, no negotiations required. ⭐

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Brilliant… with one exception.

The Happy Hoodie.

Put that on Daisy and she develops a thousand-yard stare and apparently loses the ability to blink for approximately five minutes. 😂 Just stands there staring into the distance, reconsidering every decision that led her to this moment.

✂️ Grooming:
Fantastic. Daisy is such a good girl for her groom and knows exactly what’s expected of her.

😤 Drama Levels:
HIGH TODAY.

Her parents had already committed the unforgivable crime of going away without her. Then they came home and, instead of spending the day begging for her forgiveness, they brought her to me for a groom.

Daisy was NOT impressed. 😂

I received the cold shoulder for the majority of the groom. Normally affectionate Daisy had clearly decided I was also involved in this betrayal and would be treated accordingly.

🤹‍♀️ Special Skills/Talent:
Holding a grudge with remarkable commitment while still behaving impeccably. 😂

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Withholding affection from the groomer
• Excessive sulking
• Refusing to blink while wearing a Happy Hoodie
• Making sure everyone knew she had been deeply wronged
• Eventually forgetting she was in a mood 😂

❤️ Affection Levels:
Normal service was eventually resumed and Daisy finally decided I was forgiven… which was confirmed when she went straight back to licking me in the mouth. 😂😂
Thanks Daisy. Missed you too.

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Daisy is an absolute sweetheart. She’s gorgeous, incredibly well behaved and normally one of the most affectionate girls. Today I was firmly in the bad books for circumstances completely beyond my control, but thankfully she came round in the end. 😂 I love her — cold shoulder and unsolicited mouth kisses included. ❤️

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For impeccable grooming behaviour despite suffering the devastating betrayal of her parents having a life without her. 😂❤️

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Dottie
Breed: Cavapoo
Status: Puppy perfection 🥹💗

⭐ Manners:
Unbelievably well behaved, especially for such a young pup. Calm, gentle and an absolute little dream to have in The Groomery.

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Brilliant girl. Takes it all in her stride and is far too busy being adorable to cause any drama.

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Excellent… until we reach the ears. Dottie’s preferred method of dealing with this is to bury her entire face into my tunic and hope that if she can’t see the dryer, the dryer can’t see her. 😂

✂️ Grooming:
Absolutely brilliant. For a puppy, her behaviour on the table is unbelievable. She’s already got this grooming business sussed. 🌟

🪮 Special Skills/Talent:
Has recently discovered that brushes are apparently there to be stolen. Also enjoys having a little nibble on the comb while I’m trying to comb out her face. Helpful? No. Adorable? Unfortunately, yes. 😂
🎀 Also absolutely ROCKS a bow. She knows she’s gorgeous and quite frankly, she’s right.

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Brush theft
• Attempted comb consumption
• Using excessive cuteness to avoid prosecution
• Hiding in my tunic when ear drying commences

🤗 Cuddle Motivation:
OFF THE SCALE. Dottie absolutely adores a cuddle and would happily spend the entire appointment snuggled in if given the opportunity. 🥹

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Dottie is just the calmest, sweetest, most gorgeous little girl. Completely adorable and unbelievably well behaved for a puppy. She’s an absolute pleasure to groom… even if I do now need to keep an eye on my brushes. 😂 I love her. 💗

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For outstanding puppy behaviour, exceptional cuddling skills, rocking a bow like a professional and being far too cute to be held accountable for petty theft.

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Fizz
Breed: Fox Terrier
Status: Sweet wee lady with plenty of sparkle and mischief 😂❤️

⭐ Manners:
Fizz comes trotting through the door, looks directly at me and immediately gives me the “Treat?” face. No hello required. She knows why she’s here and, more importantly, she knows where the snacks are. 😂

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Brilliant wee girl. Takes her bath like a pro with no unnecessary theatrics.

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Excellent. Happy to be dried and fluffed up ready to look immaculate.

💅 Nail Behaviour:
Great girl. Gets them done without any fuss. ⭐

✂️ Grooming:
Mostly brilliant… unless we’re grooming the legs.

Fizz’s preferred technique is simply to walk away from me. 😂
I move down the table to continue — Fizz reverses back up. I move again — off she goes. What follows is essentially a small tap-dancing routine until we eventually agree that all four legs do, unfortunately, need groomed.

🤹‍♀️ Special Skills/Talent:
Looking absolutely immaculate on the grooming table and then immediately undoing my hard work.

Today’s performance was particularly impressive. Freshly groomed and looking beautiful, Fizz decided there might be dropped treats underneath my hairy desk. Under she went in search of treasure… and back out she came looking like a burst couch. 😂😂
Cheers Fizz. Glad I spent all that time making you look lovely.

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Treat hunting while on duty
• Walking away from active grooming procedures
• Unauthorised table tap dancing
• Crawling underneath a hairy desk immediately after today’s groom
• Turning herself into a walking Swiffer 😂

❤️ Affection Levels:
OFF THE SCALE. She is the sweetest, most affectionate wee baby and an absolute character.

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Fizz is one of those wee characters who just makes you smile. 😂 She’s sweet, affectionate, full of personality and still has plenty of mischief in her. She’s brilliant for her groom and an absolute joy to have in. Just please, Fizz… stay out from under the desk once I’ve finished you. 😂❤️ I love her.

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For being the sweetest little character, exceptional treat-detection skills and managing to undo approximately an hour’s worth of fluffing in under ten seconds. 😂

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Murphy
Breed: Cocker Spaniel
Status: Perfect gentleman with a highly protected rear end 😂❤️

⭐ Manners:
Impeccable. Murphy is the loveliest wee boy with such a gentle nature. Comes in ready for a fuss and some attention… although not before giving mum the trembling bottom lip to make sure she feels suitably guilty for leaving him. 🥺😂 Then accepts his fate and gets on with it.

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Brilliant. An absolute gentleman with no complaints.

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Excellent. Takes it all in his stride and is a lovely boy to work with.

✂️ Grooming:
Fantastic for his groom… with one very specific exclusion: the tail and bum area. 😂

Attempt to trim his tail and Murphy will clamp it so tightly against his bu******ks that trying to retrieve it is like trying to pry open a bear trap. 😂
Tail trims are therefore conducted at speed during the approximately three seconds I manage to get it straight.

💅 Nail Behaviour:
Perfectly well behaved and lets me do them all… but maintains intense eye contact throughout. 👀😂
No growling. No struggling. Just a stare that makes it very clear he is documenting the incident.

🎭 Special Skills/Talent:
Possesses industrial-strength bu******ks capable of making an entire Cocker Spaniel tail disappear without a trace.

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Emotional manipulation of mum via trembling lip
• Concealment of tail
• Obstructing a lawful bum trim
• Intimidating the groomer during nail procedures
• Operating an unlicensed bear trap 😂

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Murphy is such a gorgeous, gentle wee boy and a perfect gentleman for his groom. He loves a fuss, behaves beautifully and is an absolute pleasure to have in. We may continue to disagree over who has legal ownership of his tail, but I love him. 😂❤️

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For impeccable manners, being the sweetest gentleman and maintaining one of the strongest tail-to-buttcheek grips ever recorded in The Groomery. 😂

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Blue
Breed: Collie
Status: Big baby, professional sook & owner of an impressive set of lungs 😂💙

⭐ Manners:
Blue arrives absolutely convinced that coming into The Groomery is the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. Then gets inside, hops straight up onto the table and remembers that actually… he doesn’t really mind it here. 😂

🤗 Reassurance Requirements:
HIGH. Blue needs regular reassurance, cuddles and confirmation that he is, in fact, a very brave boy. 🥹

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
ABSOLUTELY DIABOLICAL. 😂
He will willingly step into the bath himself. The door closes. Blue immediately realises the terrible mistake he has made.

What follows can only be described as a full-scale escape attempt involving wrestling, scrambling and screaming bloody murder as though I’ve put him into a vat of boiling oil rather than a perfectly pleasant dog bath. 😂

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Bath ordeal over? Blue returns almost immediately to his normal calm self as if the previous performance never happened. Nothing to see here.

✂️ Grooming:
Actually a really good boy! Once he’s out of the dreaded bath, he settles back down with a bit of reassurance and is lovely to groom.

🎭 Special Skills/Talent:
Going from terrified baby ➡️ cooperative gentleman ➡️ BATH-TIME HOSTAGE SITUATION ➡️ calm gentleman again in record time.

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Disturbing the peace
• Excessive use of vocal cords
• Attempted escape from lawful bathing
• Making one bath sound like a major emergency
• Emotional manipulation through big-baby behaviour

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Blue is the biggest sook with the biggest set of lungs. 😂 Underneath all the dramatics he’s such a lovely, sweet boy who just needs plenty of reassurance and cuddles. He might tell the entire street about the terrible injustice of having a bath, but the second it’s finished he’s absolutely fine again. I love him. 💙

🏆 Overall Grade: A++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For bravery, cuddles and surviving yet another completely uneventful bath despite providing eyewitness testimony suggesting otherwise. 😂

01/10/2026

🎓🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾🎓

Name: Jager
Breed: Peekapoo
Status: Fuzzy little old man with full puppy mentality 🥹😂

⭐ Manners:
Absolute gentleman. Sweet, adorable and ridiculously lovable. A gorgeous little salt-and-pepper boy who can basically do no wrong.

🛁 Bath Behaviour:
Brilliant. No complaints, no drama, just gets on with it like the distinguished gentleman he is. ⭐

💨 Dryer Behaviour:
Excellent. Happy to be dried and fluffed back into his full fuzzy glory.

✂️ Grooming:
Great for everything… although Jager does prefer to conduct the majority of his groom lying down. Apparently the change in weather plays havoc with his joints and standing is simply too much to ask of an elderly gentleman. 🥺

🤹‍♂️ Special Skills/Talent:
Making me feel terribly guilty for expecting an old man to stand up… before the groom finishes and he suddenly bounces and spins around the room like a puppy. 🤨😂
Interesting recovery, Jager. Very interesting.

🚨 Crimes Committed:
• Fraudulently claiming old-man privileges
• Suspiciously selective joint problems
• Making me work around a horizontal dog
• Miraculous post-groom recovery
• Being so adorable I could honestly eat him 😂

📝 Groomer’s Comment:
Jager is the most adorable fuzzy little salt-and-pepper gentleman. He might be an older boy, but there is very much a puppy still living in there. He’s brilliant for his bath, drying and groom and I absolutely adore him. I’m onto you with the lying-down act though, Jager… those post-groom spins have given you away. 😂❤️

🏆 Overall Grade: A+++

⭐ Gold Star Status:
GOLD STAR AWARDED 🌟
For being the sweetest little old gentleman, retaining full puppy mode and successfully having me wrapped around his tiny paw despite being a complete chancer. 😂

29/09/2026

🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾

Student: Alfie
Breed: Shih Tzu
Description: Gorgeous, sassy and extremely cute 😂❤️

Arrival: 🚪
Another member of the “YOU LIED TO ME! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING FOR A WALK!” club. 😂
The betrayal is immediate. The judgement begins before we’ve even started.

Grooming: ✂️ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Despite what his face would have you believe, Alfie is actually very good for his groom. He just likes to silently judge every decision I make throughout it. 😂

Facial Expressions: 😒
Absolutely exceptional. Alfie can communicate disappointment, disgust, betrayal and “are you actually serious?” without making a single sound.
It is incredibly hard to remain professional when you’re being stared at like you’ve personally ruined his life. 😂

Dryer Behaviour: 💨🍞
Alfie has developed a highly effective defensive technique: hide all four feet and become a loaf of bread.
No legs. No paws. Just loaf. 🍞😂

Feet: 🐾
Can’t groom what you can’t find.
— Alfie, probably.

Bandana Time: 🧣
The transformation is INCREDIBLE. 😂 The second Alfie sees that bandana approaching, the disgruntled old man disappears and a puppy emerges. Excitement! Barking! Suddenly life is wonderful again! 😂❤️

Treat Motivation: 🦴
I offered Alfie a treat.
Alfie looked at it… then looked at me as though I had just presented him with a bowl of Victorian workhouse gruel. 😭😂
Message received.

Crimes Committed: 🚨
Concealing four feet, excessive silent judgement and making his groomer laugh when she’s trying to take him seriously.

Groomer’s Comment:
Alfie is the perfect combination of sweet, sassy and absolutely hilarious. He’s such a good boy for his groom, even if his face tells an entirely different story. 😂 I adore his disgruntled little stares, his bread-loaf drying technique and the instant puppy transformation when that bandana appears. Gorgeous boy. ❤️

Overall Grade: A+ 🌟
Gold Star Status: ⭐ GOLD STAR FOR YOU, ALFIE!
I’ll try to bring something more acceptable than gruel next time. 😂❤️

29/09/2026

🐾 THE GROOMERY REPORT CARD 🐾

Student: Rocky
Breed: Cocker Spaniel
Description: Massive softie with the sweetest wee face 🥹❤️

Arrival: 🚪
Enters The Groomery and immediately positions himself firmly behind his mum. 😂
If he can’t see me, perhaps I can’t see him. Solid plan, Rocky.

Grooming: ✂️ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Grooming is fairly low down on Rocky’s list of favourite activities… yet he is actually an absolute superstar for the whole thing. 🥹

Bath Behaviour: 🛁
Generally very good, although when it comes to getting his bum and bits washed, Rocky likes to sit directly on my hand. 😂
Extremely helpful. Thanks, Rocky.

Bum & Bits Department: 🍑
Trimming follows much the same procedure.
My hand: exists
Rocky: excellent, a chair. 😂

Dryer Behaviour: 💨😴
Would like everyone to believe he hates being dried. Unfortunately, his case is somewhat weakened when his eyes slowly close and he starts dozing off halfway through it. 😂
Caught you, Rocky.

Treat Motivation: 🦴
Treats offered during grooming: absolutely not.
Treats offered once all four paws are safely back on the ground and the ordeal is officially over: “Well… go on then.” 😂

Special Skill: 🥹
Having the sweetest little face and a tiny wet nose that makes it extremely difficult not to kiss him every five minutes. 😂❤️

Crimes Committed: 🚨
Using his groomer’s hand as a bum seat and fraudulently claiming to hate the dryer while actively falling asleep during it.

Groomer’s Comment:
Rocky is such a massive softie and an absolutely amazing boy. ❤️ He might hide behind his mum and make it very clear that grooming wasn’t his idea, but once we get started he’s a little superstar. And with that sweet wee face and wet nose, he gets away with absolutely everything. 🥹😂

Overall Grade: A+ 🌟
Gold Star Status: ⭐ GOLD STAR FOR YOU, ROCKY!
Extra points for turning bum washing into a seated activity. 😂❤️

The Groomery

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

01/10/2026

29/09/2026

29/09/2026

Address

Opening Hours

Website

Alerts

Shortcuts

Sponsored

Share

Category

Listing takedown request

Monday	9am - 5pm
Tuesday	9am - 5pm
Wednesday	9am - 5pm
Thursday	9am - 5pm
Friday	9am - 5:30pm