23/10/2026
Listening to your horse is a huge aspect of musical flow rides.
Listening to the horse- needs vs desires?
Some thing I’ve been contemplating a lot in my own training is what does listening to the horse look like and how can we listen to them in a way that provides the best outcome?
Horses don’t speak English, but they do communicate and as good stewards of the horse, we need to listen to their communications and decipher their meaning. Their in lies the tricky part as we are all interpreting their communication in ways that are filtered through our own bias, our own desires, and often our own emotional comfort.

Really we can describe their expressions or behavior anyway that we want and we are very prone to human frailty.
Something I also consider often is that my kids can speak English and verbalize their desires, but then we have to distinguish between desires and needs. If I listen to my kids desires, for example, we would never sleep, stay up all night, watching cartoons, only eat candy. So me listening to their desires would not put us in a better situation and would in fact make them less healthy. I would not be doing my job as their guide in life.
When my horses are having trouble in their training and start to show resistance, I need to factor in the difference difference between their desires and their needs. Do I need to present different skills, back off, slow down, or go through and forward? Many times our own discomfort at making the horse uncomfortable creates poor welfare for the horse, often more serious than muddling through.  the world is now littered with folks who are afraid of making their horses uncomfortable, creating horses that are unskilled, unprepared for life, and dealing with anxiety as a way of being- which is extremely unfair to them.
So listening to the horse needs to include nuance : we have to get past personal desires of comfort to make ourselves feel good at the expense of the horse, even if we word it cleverly to sound ethical -
We need to determine the difference between wants (I want to graze) and needs (I need better guidance because I’m anxious) which are often not communicated directly. And we have to sort all this out with longevity and wellbeing in mind. What would make this horse happy now, vs what would make this horse calm and safe for a lifetime?